These are from a chat show in the States...for context Sarah Silverman and Jimmy Kimmel are dating...
Then the response...
Then Kevin Smith jumps on the bandwagon...
Till next time.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
We Live In A Country...
We live in a country...where it takes murdering 5 people to get a life sentence. Killing a girl and having sex with her corpse just doesn't cut it.
We live in a country...where children's homes turn into graveyards.
We live in a country...where children think its OK to make younger kids perform sex acts on them for use of a trampoline.
We live in a country...where the tabloids control our opinions on what news story is important.
We live in a country...where families profit from the disappearance of their child.
We live in a country...where the media tells you what to listen to, failing that blindly following trends. Your opinion and taste do not matter.
We live in a country...where the equivalent of the United States 'National Enquirer' is the best selling newspaper and everything read it in truth.
We live in a country...where people read about exactly what happens in their favourite TV shows weeks before it happens then laps it up when it finally airs.
We live in a country...where people are judged for NOT going into shitty nightclubs and bars, where the main result of the evening is always trouble.
We live in a country...where the political leader wasn't elected (although the same could be said for the United States)
We live in a country...where you get money and respect for doing nothing. Or marrying a footballer.
We live in a country...where people worship musicians who are drug addled morons (hey at least Nikki Sixx et al could write a good song)
We live in a country...where the majority of young people all dress the same, drink pisswater beer and start fights every weekend, and the minority mocked for not doing the same.
More as I think of them...
Till next time.
We live in a country...where children's homes turn into graveyards.
We live in a country...where children think its OK to make younger kids perform sex acts on them for use of a trampoline.
We live in a country...where the tabloids control our opinions on what news story is important.
We live in a country...where families profit from the disappearance of their child.
We live in a country...where the media tells you what to listen to, failing that blindly following trends. Your opinion and taste do not matter.
We live in a country...where the equivalent of the United States 'National Enquirer' is the best selling newspaper and everything read it in truth.
We live in a country...where people read about exactly what happens in their favourite TV shows weeks before it happens then laps it up when it finally airs.
We live in a country...where people are judged for NOT going into shitty nightclubs and bars, where the main result of the evening is always trouble.
We live in a country...where the political leader wasn't elected (although the same could be said for the United States)
We live in a country...where you get money and respect for doing nothing. Or marrying a footballer.
We live in a country...where people worship musicians who are drug addled morons (hey at least Nikki Sixx et al could write a good song)
We live in a country...where the majority of young people all dress the same, drink pisswater beer and start fights every weekend, and the minority mocked for not doing the same.
More as I think of them...
Till next time.
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Earthquake
Taken this from another link I saw on Facebook. Not my material but made me laugh so enjoy. I did feel the earthquake by the by...it was weird!
--LiVERPOOL ECHO NEWS REPORT-
A major earthquake measuring 4.7 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool at around 1am 27th February 2008. The epicentre was Hull. Shock waves were felt as far afield as Bolton, Manchester and Essex. Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order", "mental" and "that did my head in". The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken before their giros arrived. The local paper reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered. They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage was caused by something else instead of them. One resident Tracey Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the cardboard door into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so much that I could hardly shoot-up when I was watching Trisha the next morning". Another local resident known as Macca said the earthquake would not stop him going to work, after all, the T.W.O.C'ing, Burglaries and Graffiti would not do themselves. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers were still searching through rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from Poundstretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However, they were unable to save any furniture from Crazy George's.
How can you help? This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Most needed are Kappa or other tracksuits (his and hers), white socks to tuck the tracksuit bottoms into, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. Primark clothing is most welcome. Food parcels are also needed. They include Mcains Micro-Chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch, Nutella chocolate spread and Iceland pizzas. Alcohol is also in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White Lightening cider and Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed, 22p buys a Bic Biro for signing on purposes, £1.50 buys cheese & chips and £26 buys 200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.
For the latest news in Merseyside: www.liverpoolecho.eh.la
Till next time.
--LiVERPOOL ECHO NEWS REPORT-
A major earthquake measuring 4.7 on the Richter scale hit Liverpool at around 1am 27th February 2008. The epicentre was Hull. Shock waves were felt as far afield as Bolton, Manchester and Essex. Casualties were seen wandering aimlessly saying "bang out of order", "mental" and "that did my head in". The earthquake decimated the area causing in excess of £17.55 worth of damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from Ibiza and Corfu were damaged beyond repair. Three preserved areas of historic burned out cars were disturbed. Many locals were woken before their giros arrived. The local paper reported that hundreds of residents were confused and bewildered. They are still trying to come to terms with the fact that the damage was caused by something else instead of them. One resident Tracey Sharon Smith, a 15 year old mother of four said "It was such a shock, little Chardonnay-Leigh came running through the cardboard door into my bedroom crying. My hands were shaking so much that I could hardly shoot-up when I was watching Trisha the next morning". Another local resident known as Macca said the earthquake would not stop him going to work, after all, the T.W.O.C'ing, Burglaries and Graffiti would not do themselves. The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny Delight to the area to help with the crisis. Rescue workers were still searching through rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings which include benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Dukes, bone china from Poundstretcher and a number of Argos catalogues. However, they were unable to save any furniture from Crazy George's.
How can you help? This appeal hopes to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those unfortunate enough to be caught up in the disaster. Clothing is most sought after. Most needed are Kappa or other tracksuits (his and hers), white socks to tuck the tracksuit bottoms into, Burberry caps, woolly Benny hats and Reebok trainers. Primark clothing is most welcome. Food parcels are also needed. They include Mcains Micro-Chips, Aldi Beans, Monster Munch, Nutella chocolate spread and Iceland pizzas. Alcohol is also in short supply, mainly Lambrini, White Lightening cider and Carlsberg Special Brew. Cash donations are also needed, 22p buys a Bic Biro for signing on purposes, £1.50 buys cheese & chips and £26 buys 200 Regal from Tommo who has just got back from Kavos.
For the latest news in Merseyside: www.liverpoolecho.eh.la
Till next time.
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Michael Bolton...rocks?
Surely some mistake right? And surely some mistake that this is my second blog in a day? Well wrong on both counts! (I'm like a bus in the latter respect!)
But Bolton...before he became a housewives favourite with hits such as 'How Am I Supposed To Live Without You' and 'Can I Touch You...There?' Bolton was bringing the hard rock goodness. Yes its cheesy, yes its 80s but shit the bed its catchy.
Please enjoy Michael Bolton and his pre ballad monster...Everybody's Crazy!
Till next time.
But Bolton...before he became a housewives favourite with hits such as 'How Am I Supposed To Live Without You' and 'Can I Touch You...There?' Bolton was bringing the hard rock goodness. Yes its cheesy, yes its 80s but shit the bed its catchy.
Please enjoy Michael Bolton and his pre ballad monster...Everybody's Crazy!
Till next time.
McCann
The last day or two in the news theres been a story that a 9 year old girl in West Yorkshire has gone missing. Theres a link to the story here.
Today the UK media has gone into overdrive about Madeline McCann again. The Sun reports that there was a possible sighting of Madeline in France. This story has since been shot down...again.
The Mirror also have the same story as do The Express. And the following quote comes from the Football365 Media Watch today...
In case you hadn't noticed, The Daily Express has featured the 'hunt' for Madeleine McCann reasonably prominently over the past year or so.
And well done to them for giving a story about a missing child so much exposure. They're performing a valuable service.
With those principles in mind, Mediawatch assumed that they would feature the news of another young girl going missing - nine-year-old Shannon Matthews from Dewsbury in Yorkshire - equally prominently.
Apparently not. It's not on the front page, nor page two, three, four, five or six.
You have to dig down to page seven to find any word on the latest disappearance. Apparently stories about a fish with a bit of a funny face, taking an afternoon nap (it's good for you), some spurious nonsense about Diana (natch) and a customary rant against immigrants are more newsworthy.
Any accusations that this policy is simply down to the fact that Shannon Matthews is not a blonde girl from a middle-class family will no doubt be strenuously denied.
For the record, have a guess which missing child does appear on the front page. And, in the interests of fairness, on the front of The Sun and The Daily Mirror.
Now it seems to me like its very convieniant that there happens to be another "sighting" at the same time as this other girls gone missing. Like the quote above says its all down to class. Its not as newsworthy that a child from a middle class family goes missing. So my question is would the media really stoop as low as to pull a story about "Maddie" out of their arses just to remind us all what the important story really is?
Till next time.
Today the UK media has gone into overdrive about Madeline McCann again. The Sun reports that there was a possible sighting of Madeline in France. This story has since been shot down...again.
The Mirror also have the same story as do The Express. And the following quote comes from the Football365 Media Watch today...
In case you hadn't noticed, The Daily Express has featured the 'hunt' for Madeleine McCann reasonably prominently over the past year or so.
And well done to them for giving a story about a missing child so much exposure. They're performing a valuable service.
With those principles in mind, Mediawatch assumed that they would feature the news of another young girl going missing - nine-year-old Shannon Matthews from Dewsbury in Yorkshire - equally prominently.
Apparently not. It's not on the front page, nor page two, three, four, five or six.
You have to dig down to page seven to find any word on the latest disappearance. Apparently stories about a fish with a bit of a funny face, taking an afternoon nap (it's good for you), some spurious nonsense about Diana (natch) and a customary rant against immigrants are more newsworthy.
Any accusations that this policy is simply down to the fact that Shannon Matthews is not a blonde girl from a middle-class family will no doubt be strenuously denied.
For the record, have a guess which missing child does appear on the front page. And, in the interests of fairness, on the front of The Sun and The Daily Mirror.
Now it seems to me like its very convieniant that there happens to be another "sighting" at the same time as this other girls gone missing. Like the quote above says its all down to class. Its not as newsworthy that a child from a middle class family goes missing. So my question is would the media really stoop as low as to pull a story about "Maddie" out of their arses just to remind us all what the important story really is?
Till next time.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
The Funniest Music Videos Ever 1
Decided to do an occasional series of the worlds most rubbish music videos. Just as and when I feel like it really!
The first comes from 1984. From the album Defenders Of The Faith this is Judas Priest with Freewheel Burning. State of the art special effects with Rob Halford being part of a video game, and is it just me or does the kid at the end look like he is being "pleasured"?
Enjoy!
Till next time.
The first comes from 1984. From the album Defenders Of The Faith this is Judas Priest with Freewheel Burning. State of the art special effects with Rob Halford being part of a video game, and is it just me or does the kid at the end look like he is being "pleasured"?
Enjoy!
Till next time.
Friday, February 8, 2008
V-Day
On Facebook there is an application called Superpoke. I'm sure a lot of you have a Facebook profile and are aware of this. If not, basically you can 'do things' to other people.
For example I could "throw a chicken" at someone. Or "have a quiche" with someone.
So I went on there the other day and a few of had "boycotted V-Day" with me.
And the first thing I thought was a boycott of V-Day. The day we won World War II. This confused me a bit not only because the day had already occured and it would be pretty hard to boycott something that had happened 63 years ago, but mainly because I thought 3 of my friends had become Nazis.
As it turned out V-Day in this case meant Valentines Day. Which I totally missed. Even with a picture of a broken heart with a big red cross through it. So I suppose I must be boycotting V-Day in my own special way. Stupidity.
Till next time.
For example I could "throw a chicken" at someone. Or "have a quiche" with someone.
So I went on there the other day and a few of had "boycotted V-Day" with me.
And the first thing I thought was a boycott of V-Day. The day we won World War II. This confused me a bit not only because the day had already occured and it would be pretty hard to boycott something that had happened 63 years ago, but mainly because I thought 3 of my friends had become Nazis.
As it turned out V-Day in this case meant Valentines Day. Which I totally missed. Even with a picture of a broken heart with a big red cross through it. So I suppose I must be boycotting V-Day in my own special way. Stupidity.
Till next time.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
Ice
Just not had a lot to write about recently. And its been almost 2 weeks since I've done an entertaining blog, one was me moaning the other was the Beadle thing so I suppose its time to even the playing field and just write something!
Not much has happened in the last week and a bit. Working, going out a couple of times that sort of thing. Well something pretty dramatic happened at work but can't talk about that! Sorry about that.
Other than work its been pretty dull. That whole 'Pushing People Away' blog I did seems to have been voided now anyway, but as I said at the time it's a useful thing to remind the next time I'm about to do something stupid. But I don't know whats happening on that particular subject now.
I was halfway through writing about my Saturday night in Norwich which is a subject almost at odds with what I usually write about on here (meaning I write about random stuff more than what I did at the weekend) but I made a reference to disturbing bars during writing it, and that gave me a better idea on what to write about.
So I deleted all that and am now going to talk to you about Ice.
Ice is what is charitably described as a "nightclub" but its not really. For one its way to small unless its going for a record like The Nutshell in Bury (UK's smallest pub). And its set out more like a bar. Which it what it is basically. But they turn up the music louder than in normal bars so you dance.
Before I go any further I just want to point out I have been in there 3 or 4 times so I'm not just ripping into the place without knowledge of what the place is like.
Problem I have got writing about Ice is I just do not know where to start. There are just so many negative aspects with it.
I'll try and give you some idea. The place is open normally Friday and Saturday nights. These nights pretty much the entire Thetford Police force is deployed outside. There is always trouble. Always. Based on this alone they should shut the place down.
And its not even the music I have a problem with. It runs deeper than that. As I said I have been in there 3 or 4 times. The first few times they were playing just usual "club stuff" and it was horrible. But then the last time (and trust me I mean the LAST TIME) me and my mate went in there and its was supposed to be 80s night.
And they played stuff like 80s cheese that I would normally like and probably have on itunes. But I just couldn't enjoy it in there. My mate Jamie came up with the best word. Shittip.
And people go in there without fail every weekend! Do these people leave Thetford at all? Sometimes I wonder. Theres people in the Snooker Hall where I hang out and you can just tell the sad bastards never leave the town, so I can only imagine what its like in there.
I've heard them sometimes- "Oh yeah heading to Ice later. May go to BURY next week" in a tone of voice that would suggest they are going on a weekend in Vegas instead of 20 minutes up the road. And you know they'll never go through with it...can't leave Thetford!
But back to Ice.
I know a few people that go in there so am going to exclude them from this next bit, as they for the most part dislike the place (but still go in there...hmm....)
But the state of the people go in there. I have not seen anything like it. Imagine a concentration camp with loud music and flashing lights. Thats a typical night at Ice.
You've got the women who are just old and dress like they were 20. And they stand there on the little dancefloor area and just grind. Its vomit inducing. Theres no-one with them. Just there on their own. Obviously left the kids at home alone- its Ok they'll never find the heroin needle stash. And they just try and reclaim their youth. Its pathetic.
And then theres the guys that go there to pull. They make sure to stand out from the pack by wearing striped shirts. And they go after the rough single mums mainly or whatevers moving. Its a disturbing sight.
And don't get me started on the kids that go in there drunk from their alcopops...
And don't get me wrong I'm sure this happens in other clubs in the country but this place isn't a nightclub on the scale of where you normally go its really small so the sights are inescapable. Fucking place used to be a snooker club just to give you a idea of the size. Its also sandwiched between a estate agents and a charity shop.
So thats a sort of overview of Ice. A small bar that will stay open until the inevitable day someones killed outside. And its happened in this town before.
Till next time.
Not much has happened in the last week and a bit. Working, going out a couple of times that sort of thing. Well something pretty dramatic happened at work but can't talk about that! Sorry about that.
Other than work its been pretty dull. That whole 'Pushing People Away' blog I did seems to have been voided now anyway, but as I said at the time it's a useful thing to remind the next time I'm about to do something stupid. But I don't know whats happening on that particular subject now.
I was halfway through writing about my Saturday night in Norwich which is a subject almost at odds with what I usually write about on here (meaning I write about random stuff more than what I did at the weekend) but I made a reference to disturbing bars during writing it, and that gave me a better idea on what to write about.
So I deleted all that and am now going to talk to you about Ice.
Ice is what is charitably described as a "nightclub" but its not really. For one its way to small unless its going for a record like The Nutshell in Bury (UK's smallest pub). And its set out more like a bar. Which it what it is basically. But they turn up the music louder than in normal bars so you dance.
Before I go any further I just want to point out I have been in there 3 or 4 times so I'm not just ripping into the place without knowledge of what the place is like.
Problem I have got writing about Ice is I just do not know where to start. There are just so many negative aspects with it.
I'll try and give you some idea. The place is open normally Friday and Saturday nights. These nights pretty much the entire Thetford Police force is deployed outside. There is always trouble. Always. Based on this alone they should shut the place down.
And its not even the music I have a problem with. It runs deeper than that. As I said I have been in there 3 or 4 times. The first few times they were playing just usual "club stuff" and it was horrible. But then the last time (and trust me I mean the LAST TIME) me and my mate went in there and its was supposed to be 80s night.
And they played stuff like 80s cheese that I would normally like and probably have on itunes. But I just couldn't enjoy it in there. My mate Jamie came up with the best word. Shittip.
And people go in there without fail every weekend! Do these people leave Thetford at all? Sometimes I wonder. Theres people in the Snooker Hall where I hang out and you can just tell the sad bastards never leave the town, so I can only imagine what its like in there.
I've heard them sometimes- "Oh yeah heading to Ice later. May go to BURY next week" in a tone of voice that would suggest they are going on a weekend in Vegas instead of 20 minutes up the road. And you know they'll never go through with it...can't leave Thetford!
But back to Ice.
I know a few people that go in there so am going to exclude them from this next bit, as they for the most part dislike the place (but still go in there...hmm....)
But the state of the people go in there. I have not seen anything like it. Imagine a concentration camp with loud music and flashing lights. Thats a typical night at Ice.
You've got the women who are just old and dress like they were 20. And they stand there on the little dancefloor area and just grind. Its vomit inducing. Theres no-one with them. Just there on their own. Obviously left the kids at home alone- its Ok they'll never find the heroin needle stash. And they just try and reclaim their youth. Its pathetic.
And then theres the guys that go there to pull. They make sure to stand out from the pack by wearing striped shirts. And they go after the rough single mums mainly or whatevers moving. Its a disturbing sight.
And don't get me started on the kids that go in there drunk from their alcopops...
And don't get me wrong I'm sure this happens in other clubs in the country but this place isn't a nightclub on the scale of where you normally go its really small so the sights are inescapable. Fucking place used to be a snooker club just to give you a idea of the size. Its also sandwiched between a estate agents and a charity shop.
So thats a sort of overview of Ice. A small bar that will stay open until the inevitable day someones killed outside. And its happened in this town before.
Till next time.
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