Film Review: The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence)

After the release of the first Human Centipede film (reviewed here), I was quite looking forward to the sequel. But the more I started to hear about it (sandpaper masturbation, a barbed wire rape scene - which thankfully never made it in) the more I started to think it was just going to be shocking for shocking's sake. And, for the most part I was right.

The plot at least was quite original though. Martin (Laurence R. Harvey, in his film debut) is a disturbed loner who works in a parking garage in London. Inspired (and also aroused) by the events of the original Human Centipede film, he decides to start abducting people to take the centipede to the next level: 12 people.

At the same time, he's having problems with his Mother (Vivien Bridson), who blames Martin for his fathers incarceration and is having him see a doctor (Bill Hutchens) for his obvious mental problems. This part of the plot is pretty disposable though, other than to shoehorn in a couple of terribly cliched characters.

With the exception of the lead, the cast are utterly dreadful. Harvey is spectacularly creepy, however as the short, fat, bug-eyed loner. It's his performance alone that at times lends credibility to the film, but the ridiculous plot writer/director Tom Six has devised this time overshadows that before long.

Things just get dumber and dumber as the film progresses. The original had a lot of dark humour, but it kept itself "medically accurate" at least, lending a bit of realism to the affair. But 'Full Sequence', just gets more and more OTT as time goes on, especially when it comes to making the centipede itself.

And it most definitely is shocking for shocking's sake. The inclusion of a pregnant woman as one of Martin's centipede is totally unnecessary and just results in an absolutely disgusting and equally pointless scene near the end.

A saving grace for the film is that it was shot in black and white, which helps with the more gruesome scenes. Still not entirely sure why it was shot this way, but it must have been something to do with getting the film passed in different countries, regardless of what Tom Six may say. But when it came to the scene involving laxatives (told you it was stupid), I was grateful for the lack of colour.

As we all know, the film was banned in the U.K. until it was passed with over 3 minutes worth of cuts to it. Regular readers of this blog will know my opinions on censorship all too well (short version: ban a film, or release it uncut, there should be no middle ground) but the big question is - did the Human Centipede II deserve to be banned?

And I would have to answer in the negative. It's just too stupid and over the top to be taken seriously, even with the outrageous shocking moments. A film like Martyrs can shock and make you think (and that film was released uncut in this country), but the Human Centipede II really has nothing to say other than "Eww look at THIS!".

Tom Six already has the third and final film lined up (Final Sequence, to be filmed in America), and already promises to make this look like a Disney film. I can only assume there will be no attempt at a plot at all.

**
Incredibly creepy lead actor and the odd legitimately disgusting moment aside, this is a rather puerile attempt to outdo the original film. Needlessly offensive in places, but most of all, so damn stupid you can't take it seriously.

Gig Review: SOiL & Puddle Of Mudd. Norwich Waterfront, 27/10/11

Back in the good old days of the venues club nights, before it started aspiring to be a facsimile of every other club in Norwich (albeit a much dingier one), The Waterfront used to play 'Halo' by SOiL every week in it's main room. It was (and still is) one of those songs everyone went nuts for.

So when it was announced that SOiL were going to be playing the Waterfront, and bringing back original vocalist Ryan McCombs (who is currently the vocalist in Drowning Pool) to celebrate the tenth anniversary of 'Scars', the album 'Halo' comes from (an album that was a huge hit, even though it was released on September 11th, 2001), it was only natural to buy a ticket.

Joining them in a revolving headliner double bill were post grunge survivors Puddle Of Mudd. It had been so long since I had heard any of their music I had actually forgotten that I'd listened to their breakthrough album 'Come Clean' a lot, back in the day. So when I spun it again, I instantly remembered some of their great material.

Up first on the headliner bill were SOiL, and even if they were inebriated (and they really, really were) they put on a great performance. The band seemed to have a great connection with each other, and were having a right laugh performing together again, by the looks of it.

The highlight though, had to be 'Halo'. A drum solo started the song up, and McCombs left the stage, only to re-emerge in the crowd, battling to the front row, where he sang the song perched on the guardrail, then proceeded to light up, all with the security guards looking very nervous indeed.

SOiL played...

1. Breaking Me Down
2. Need To Feel
3. My Own
4. Redefine
5. Cross My Heart
6. Inside
7. The One
8. Wide Open
9. Black 7
10. Unreal
11. Halo

Trying to top that then, were Puddle Of Mudd. And I really had no clue how popular they still were! The sold out crowd were pretty heaving during SOiL, but, if anything, it became even more crowded for POM's set. Mostly a female audience showed up all of a sudden (cue the usual attempts to get to the front, as if they have some right to. Here's a hint: get to the venue early and you can), as the band launched into 'Out Of My Head'. 

The some reason, frontman Wes Scantlin (looking like a cross between Kurt Cobain and WWE wrestler Edge) had a serious problem with a former member of his management team. The sound was a bit muddy at the front, so couldn't make a lot of it out, but it sounds like the band was slated badly by this guy, and Scantlin was taking exception. No idea when this all happened, but the way Scantlin was going on about it, it was recently!

Other than that he interacted well with the crowd, but didn't seem to talk all that much other than that, as the band raced through the hits (could not find an accurate setlist at this time): 'Control', 'Drift And Die', 'Famous', 'Psycho'...before attempting an ill-advised cover of AC/DC's 'T.N.T'. I usually avoid covers albums like the plague and this was proof why. But all was redeemed with a glorious double header to finish the show with 'Blurry' and 'She Hates Me'.

Here's a compilation video a friend compiled of POM's set, check it out (and his other videos too!)

SOiL: ****
Puddle Of Mudd: ***1/2


SOiL just take away the evening for me, with a far more energetic set than Puddle Of Mudd. Not knocking them though, but it was a rather fast run through, with a bit of a dodgy cover involved too

Film Review: Paranormal Activity 3

Last year, when I reviewed Paranormal Activity 2 (see here for that), I deemed the sequel 'unnecessary' but did concede that the effective jumps from the original were still there, but maybe not in as high a volume.

The same can be said for the installment in the series, but while the jumps and tension are still there, the film starts to drift further and further away from the original. Which is a shame considering how well the first two gelled together.

The film starts in 2005 with camcorder footage of Kristi (the sister from the second film, again played by Sprague Grayden), still pregnant and decorating the room for the forthcoming baby. Her sister Katie (Katie Fetherstone) shows up, asking if she can use some basement space for some boxes, one of which contains some home movies from when they were kids. Soon after this, Kristi's place is 'robbed' and the box of tapes has gone missing. Cue the video...

A very pristine looking picture on the video too, considering it's supposed to be from a camcorder circa 1988, but never mind. The video is being shot by Dennis (Christopher Nicolas Smith) who is dating the sisters mum Julie (Lauren Bittner.)

Not long after Kristi (played as a child by Jessica Tyler Brown) starts talking about her 'invisible friend' Toby, and all sorts of strange occurrences start happening.

As with the first two films, most of the films tension comes from the nighttime footage (even though the video tapes have to be changed every six hours, but they still manage to capture everything, very convenient), with cameras in the master bedroom, the sisters room and one that is mounted on a fan (which seems to me like the kind of thing Sam Raimi used to do!), so a full view of the kitchen can be achieved.

It's actually the fan-cam that gets the most tension of the film, as it slowly (painfully so at times) pans from left to right and back again. In fact one moment with the camera and probably the oldest 'ghost trick' in the book gets one of the biggest jumps of the film, even though you see it coming a mile off.

As I said, there is plenty of jumps and tension, but what about the plot? That's where the side is let down unfortunately. To give the filmmakers credit (and we will get to them shortly) an attempt is made to explain why a demon is terrorizing the sisters in the first place, but that reason is pretty weak, and I've seen it before. Very recently, too.

But the whole film just seems like an excuse to do it all again, and it does mostly work, but at the end of the day it is just a money making sequel. And money it has made, much like the business PA2 did last year, the third chapter opened in America at $54 million in the first weekend, making it the largest opening weekend for a horror movie. Ever.

So, as with last year, a sequel is inevitable. The fact that the film cost $5 million to make, and has made back over ten times that in the U.S. alone pretty much secures that fact. It's a huge money maker, and I can't see them stopping making them until they stop generating cash. But the more they make, the further away from the original they will become. I can even see the films focusing on different characters and plots altogether in the future, and why not? It works, and it may not be the worst idea in the world to move away from the current characters.

A quick word about the choice of directors must also be mentioned before I get to the all important rating. You may remember back in May I reviewed a film called Catfish (see that here to jog your memory), which was a documentary about Facebook purporting to be real, but there was a lot of debate whether it was real or not.

The directors of that film, Henry Joost and Ariel Schulman directed this newest installment of Paranormal Activity, and it really begs the question about Catfish all over again. It seems quite suspicious that they are now making a fictional movie based on 'found footage', after making a 'documentary' that many thought was staged . At the time I thought Catfish was crazy enough to be true, but I'm having second thoughts about that now...

***
More of the same, with great tension and plenty of the jumps everyone expects. But the plot is wearing thin, and the explanation for the demon was weak to put it mildly. Things need a change up to keep the franchise rolling.

Film Review: Foo Fighters: Back And Forth

Released recently, along with their latest (and best of their career, in my opinion) album 'Wasting Light' comes 'Back And Forth', a look back at the 16 year history of Foo Fighters, from the early days when Dave Grohl was in Nirvana, up till present day. And while it's an at times fascinating look at the band, things really do tail off towards the end.

I've always liked the Foo's, but never exactly been an expert on them. Obviously, I knew Dave Grohl was originally a drummer, and was in Nirvana, and I knew there had been a lineup change or two over the years, but the things I didn't know totally outweighed what I did.

The film starts talking about Grohl's time in Nirvana, briefly touching on Kurt Cobain's struggle with celebrity that led to a drug overdose and his eventual suicide in May 1994. After this it took some time for Grohl to want to play music again, and he didn't want to play drums, so he recorded some song under the name Foo Fighters and enlisted Nate Mendel and William Goldsmith from Sunny Day Real Estate and Pat Smear to play as a band.

The rest is history, and now everyone knows who the Foo Fighters are, one of, if not THE, biggest rock band in the world. But what I didn't know what was the tension and the drama that went on behind the scenes. At one point, the band almost seemed to have a revolving door of members, and the reasons some of them left (or were asked to leave) were quite dodgy.

Another thing that was mentioned I didn't know about was Taylor Hawkin's heroin overdose, really took me by surprise as he always seems like a mellow, laid back guy. But, it wasn't all miserable revelations - the one that really got me was how close Grohl was to becoming the drummer in Tom Petty's band after Cobain died!

But for all the interesting revelations and honest manner in which it was approached, the longer the film went on, the more seemed to be skimmed over. The last two albums before 'Wasting Light' were mentioned briefly, and I was hoping for a look at some of the bands side projects to be looked at (e.g. Grohl's involvement with Queens Of The Stone Age, Probot, etc. or Hawkin's Coattail Riders) but only a brief mention of Queens was given.

I liked how they gave a bit of time to how monumental their gigs at Wembley Stadium were, but the guest appearances from John Paul Jones (which could have led nicely into a bit about Them Crooked Vultures) and Jimmy Page weren't even mentioned, even though they must have been a career highlight.

After that the film just turns into a making of piece about 'Wasting Light' really, about how the songs were made, who guested, etc. Not to say that wasn't watchable, but there was so much more the film could have said, but I guess in the end it was just made to promote the album, hence the name 'Back And Forth', which is the name of one of the songs from said album.

If you're a big fan of the band, you'll probably love it, but I was just left disappointed that a story as interesting as this ended up as a promotional piece.

***
Starts with some fascinating revelations, but ends up as a glorified 'making of' the latest album. A shame.

Gig Review: Bowling For Soup. UEA Norwich. 17/10/11

Of all the times I've seen Bowling For Soup play live, I've never seen them do a headline show. I have seen them at festivals, and even saw (and met!) the guys at an acoustic set/CD signing in London several years ago, but every time they come around to play a entire set, I have always managed to miss it. Until now that is...

Touring the U.K. in support of their new album 'Fishin' For Woo's', BFS touched down again at the UEA (they seem to like Norwich, it always seems to have a tour date here when they are touring the country) and brought fellow punk popper's Orange and Suburban Legends.

I'm going to be brutally honest about the support, I wasn't there to see them and I used that time to talk to some people I hadn't seen in a while, so can't fairly review them, but I do have a few notes about both that it would be remiss not to share.

I am still convinced I've seen Orange before, and I did kind of recognize them, but nothing they did drew me out of the conversations I was having. My brother probably put it best when he said they "looked as generic as they sounded".

Suburban Legends did catch a bit of my attention by the end of their set. The use of trumpet and trombone made for some pretty catchy songs, and the cover of 'I Just Can't Wait To Be King' from The Lion King raised some smiles.

We were more than ready for Bowling For Soup, though. Moving from near the bar to a better spot on the 'dancefloor' (regular UEA patrons will know what I mean by that), we didn't have to wait long till the band emerged, kicking off with 'I'm Gay' from the 'Great Burrito Extortion Case' album, followed by 'High School Never Ends' from the same album.

The crowd were wildly enthusiastic at this point, but that did die down a bit as the set went on. Not at the front, that totally maintained, but from where I was standing, I saw a lot of folded arms and not much excitement being shown.

The band were on fine form, from both a music and comedy standpoint. Anyone who knows of the band must know they are funny guys, and those who don't just need to check out one of their videos. And they were as hilarious as ever at the UEA.

That being said though, I did find the band stopping for a drink (at the bar they had on stage, no less) during 'Punk Rock 101', while the strains of AC/DC's 'Have A Drink On Me' were being piped in over the PA, a bit much to be honest.

That was made up for with a different song introduction at the end, when 'Girl All The Bad Guys Want' was halted for a completely improvised song called 'Do You Want To Suck On My Balls, Gary?'. You can check that out in the last blog I posted, as I was happening to be filming at the time!

It was also worth noting that the band seemed to play (with the exceptions of one or two early ones), every single they have ever released! They also surprised the crowd with covers of 'Stacy's Mom' by Fountains Of Wayne (they covered that song, apparently because a lot of people seem to think it's one of their own songs!), and 'Summer Of '69' by Bryan Adams, which was amazing!

Whilst writing this review I found out that BFS' song '1985' was a cover version too, first recorded by a band called SR-71, and used with their blessing. I guess you learn something new everyday! Or two things, as I had no idea the band do the theme tune to 'Phineas And Ferb' till they played it!

Bowling For Soup played...

1. I'm Gay
2. High School Never Ends
3. S-S-Saturday
4. Ohio (Come Back To Texas)
5. When We Die
6. Emily
7. The Bitch Song
8. Stacy's Mom
9. Today Is Gonna Be A Great Day (Phineas And Ferb Theme)
10. Almost
11. My Wena
12. The Last Rock Show
13. Punk Rock 101
14. No Hablo Ingles
15. Turbulence
16. Friends O' Mine
17. Summer Of 69'
18. 1985
19. Belgium
20. Girl All The Bad Guys Want/Do You Want To Suck On My Balls, Gary?

****

Aside from getting a bit too wacky with the onstage bar, Bowling For Soup put on a fantastic show. Catch them on tour when they are in your town!

Bowling For Soup - Do You Want To Suck On My Balls, Gary? - UEA 17-10-11 - YouTube

Saw Bowling For Soup at the UEA last night, full review to follow, but had to share this. The first airing of 'Do You Want To Suck On My Balls, Gary?'

Great night!

Bowling For Soup - Do You Want To Suck On My Balls, Gary? - UEA 17-10-11 - YouTube:

'via Blog this'

Film Review: Assassination Games

Being such an ardent Jean-Claude Van Damme fan, it's hard to believe I've only reviewed a handful of his films on this blog (No Retreat, No Surrender, Double Impact, Street Fighter, and erm...Breakin'.) Even harder to believe was that I almost missed the release of 'Assassination Games' entirely! I knew it had been made, but not until a few days prior to to it's release did I know it was coming out. A situation quickly rectified!

Van Damme plays Vincent Brazil (the latest in a long line of fantastic character names), an emotionless assassin who takes a job to take out a drug dealer, Polo Yakur (Ivan Kaye.) But another assassin (Scott Adkins) wants a piece of Yakur, as revenge for when he and his men raped and beat his wife (played by Van Damme's daughter, Bianca Van Varenburg), putting her in a comatose state that she has yet to emerge from.

After an initial confrontation, the two assassins decide to team up to take out Yakur, and the corrupt Interpol agents (one of which is played by Van Damme's son Kristopher Van Varenburg - it's a family affair this one) that are backing him. Meanwhile, Vincent helps out the prostitute living next door, starting an awkward relationship between the two, him being so cold and isolated and all.

Like most Van Damme films these days, there's nothing wholly original about the plot, and there's the usual budget cutting setting of Eastern Europe, but like most of his films, I found 'Assassination Games' to be quite entertaining. Van Damme still cuts an imposing figure, while Adkins seems quite the promising hard-man (especially considering his previous resume of stuff like Hollyoaks and Holby City.)

Of course, the bad guys are the total opposite, completely unmemorable, and utterly forgettable, only existing for the inevitable moment when the two leads take them out. I can't really complain about that though, you can't go into these films expecting much strong characterization for anyone save Van Damme and Adkins.

At one point, 'Assassination Games' was due to be a vehicle for Van Damme and Steven Seagal (which would have been amazing), Seagal dropped out and Vinnie Jones was put in the frame (which would have been dreadful), but Scott Adkins was finally cast alongside the 'Muscles From Brussels'. Adkins, of course, is joining Van Damme in the highly anticipated Expendables sequel, as well as the next installment of the Universal Soldier franchise.

'Assassination Games', though was shot very similarly to the (really quite decent) 'Universal Soldier: Regeneration', and looks really good throughout. A true mark on how well it was shot can be seen if you watch recent ITV4 documentary 'Jean-Claude Van Damme: Behind Closed Doors' which featured some behind the scenes footage from the film, and it looked really cheap and nasty, to be honest.

'Assassination Games' will do nothing to change anyone's opinions of Van Damme and his films, but fans should enjoy the kind of solid straight to video actioner he's been doing for the last few years. Next up, will be his big screen return (not counting Kung Fu Panda 2), in Expendables 2, and he really deserves the return to the big time.

***
Nothing original, but some decent Van Dammage. Sure, his recent films may be shot on a budget, but they are full of what his fans want. Can't see the problem with that at all.