Film Review: Vampire's Kiss

In my time, I've seen some pretty out there Nicolas Cage films. From the crazy Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call New Orleans, to the insane (for all the wrong reasons) Wicker Man remake, Cage always seems to pick some very strange roles, and recently in Drive Angry he finally started playing that for laughs.

But it's no means a recent thing, in 1988, way before he won an Oscar for 'Leaving Las Vegas', Cage starred in this film, Vampire's Kiss and it's totally unhinged performance that makes the film worth watching.

Cage plays Peter Loew, a publishing executive who, after an encounter with Rachel (Jennifer Beals) who may or may not be a vampire, starts to believe he has been bitten and has become a vampire himself. Loew slowly goes nuts, taking most of his frustration out on his hard done by secretary (Maria Conchita Alonso), but is he really one of the undead or is it all in his head?

Vampire's Kiss is not a particularly original or inspired film, but it's a batshit crazy (no pun intended) performance from Cage that makes the entire movie. From jumping around on desks and screaming, to actually eating a live cockroach (and he did eat it in real life, took three takes, apparently) he takes the film to places where your regular actor would never dare to take it. Knock the guys movie choices in recent years, but he can put on a hell of a 'crazy person' performance.

It's hard to tell what genre Vampire's Kiss resides. Some of it is very funny (Cage running around the city screaming "I'm a vampire!" repeatedly) but some of it is not (an almost surreal rape scene), but it can also be quite an different take on what happens when a guy is knocked back by a woman, and the effect it can have on an already pretty wobbly psyche. Whether that was the intention of the film, I don't know but it's an interesting way to watch it.

***1/2
Not original in the least plot wise, but dig deeper and you may find an interesting character study, and failing that, an amazing performance from Nicolas Cage.

Film Review: Footloose

Before I even get started on this review, I just came across a trailer for a remake of Footloose, out later this year. It looks identical, even the dialogue is the same. It's just got dreadful music instead of the classic soundtrack. Don't know why they even bother with these remakes sometimes.

Anyway, back to the original. Which, to this day, possesses one of the strangest plots for a teen movie ever. After a car accident killing some (probably sexy) teens occurs, a small town in America outlaws rock music and dancing. Not drinking. Or driving. Dancing, mainly.

Then, a city boy (Ren McCormack, played by Kevin Bacon) arrives in town and starts to shake things up, befriending a country boy (Christopher Penn) WHO CAN'T DANCE (And, because of that, acts like he is crippled or something), and gets romantically involved with Aerial (Lori Singer), whose father (John Lithgow) is a minister totally opposed to any kind of frivolity, seeing as his son was one of the kids killed in the accident.

It all sounds fairly terrible, but the 80s were a time when this sort of thing could work, and it does. It just has that 80s charm, and the entire cast is really likable too. Even the cookie cutter role of disapproving minister Dad is played with such empathy by John Lithgow, as opposed to just ranting, then having a last minute change of heart, it takes the film to another level.

As does the music, of course. The soundtrack is jammed full of 80s hits from the likes of Kenny Loggins, Bonnie Tyler and more. Sure it sets the film at a certain point in time, but, like the film, its cheesy fun, and I can't see how an exact replica of it in 2011 will do anyone any good.

****
Generic 80s dancing tosh sure, but it's great fun, has a killer soundtrack and a brilliant turn from John Lithgow. And where else could you possibly see Kevin Bacon cracking out those moves?

Film Review: Trail Of The Screaming Forehead

There have been many things in cinema that have been designed to scare us. Serial killers, cannibals, zombies, David Tennants acting, the list goes on. But on the flip side there has been plenty of things with the same intentions, but kind of fall shy of the mark. Remember Maximum Overdrive? Just some trucks, an ATM and a vending machine. And more recently, Rubber - where a tyre goes on a kill rampage.

But never before has the movies dealt with an alien invasion of foreheads. Not the entire head, just the bit at the top. So, thankfully here is one. Trail Of The Screaming Forehead tells the tale of the small town of  Longhead Bay that is subject to an invasion of said alien foreheads. They latch on to peoples regular foreheads and take over their mind. You see, in a subplot, it is revealed that the forehead, not the brain is the center of thought in the head, and a scientist (Fay Masterson) is attempting to extract foreheadizine to try and make the worlds smartest person.

This is probably a good time to tell you that this film is a spoof of the sort of 1950s budget sci fi films you used to get. And for the most part, it does the job very well. The film is full of amusing word play, silly names and intentional line fluffs, but even with a slim running time of 88 minutes, the joke does start to wear thin by the end.

Nods go out to Alison Martin as librarian Millie Healey, who hilariously moves the plot along several times, and Brian Howe as 'Big' Dan Frater, a seaman whose every line of dialogue is gold. In fact most of the cast are highly amusing, it's just it all ran out of steam by the end for me.

The director and writer, Larry Blamire has done other films in this sort of style, which I will check out at some point based on this. It's never going to make big bucks, but they are a bit of a laugh for people who get the jokes. Worth a rent.

***
Fairly amusing monster movie spoof, but like a lot of send ups it goes on a bit too long. Worth a watch if you happen upon it though.

Gig Review: High Voltage Festival 2011. Day Two: Sunday 24th July, 2011.

To say that the start of day two of High Voltage didn't quite meet the heights of day one is quite the understatement. Whereas the Saturday started with a great performance from Michael Monroe, Sunday started with an appearance from Top Gear's James May. Yeah, really.

Filming a segment for his BBC show 'Man Lab', which I assume is following a forgotten band from yesterday hitting the big time, May introduced the dreadful Love Fungus (*), but not before my friend quite loudly bellowed "May's a wanker!" at him. Hopefully disrupting the filming. This sort of blatant publicity has no place at a music festival, and was the only misstep the festival took all weekend. Compounding this was the fact that Love Fungus were irredeemably bad, the sort of tripe that if you saw them play in your local, you'd demand a refund. Thankfully it was over pretty quickly.

Starting the day proper (as in advertised on the lineup) were Heavens Basement (**), a band who I saw under the name Roadstar, play the exact same slot at the Monsters Of Rock festival in Milton Keynes...5 years ago. While they have had their share of misfortune the fact they still have the sort of 'alright while they are playing' songs that you fail to remember that they did in 2006 speaks volumes about them. They have loads of enthusiasm, but I can't see them ever getting above this kind of stage, sadly. And as a side note, the flogging of their E.P to the front row of the crowd as the stage was being set for the next band smacked of desperation. Not cool. At all. Can't find a setlist for them either.

Things took a turn for the better next with Saint Jude (***), a band who had a real Black Crowes style retro vibe about them, which worked great with the sun blazing down (the weather on the Sunday was gorgeous) but the set (again, unable to locate a setlist) was too short for any real lasting impression to be made. Hoping good things for them, though.

After years of 'personal problems', it's safe to say that Michael Schenker (****) has cleaned himself up. He was on top form at High Voltage, and brought out a slew of guest stars for a run through some new material (which was quite good!), and some hits from his previous bands MSG, Scorpions, and UFO. Even though Schenker didn't actually play on 'Rock You Like A Hurricane', it was a joy to see it being performed along with his brother Rudolf.

Slightly disturbing, however, was the sight of former UFO bassist, and human train wreck Pete Way show up for 'Rock Bottom' and 'Doctor Doctor'. He looked rough when I saw him play with UFO a few years ago, now he looks worse. But he stayed upright this time. Also joining the final 'Doctor Doctor' party was former Journey and Talisman singer Jeff Scott Soto, a real surprise there. Welcome back Michael!

Michael Schenker (and friends) played...

1. Into The Arena
2. Armed And Ready
3. Another Piece Of Meat (Scorpions cover)
4. Before The Devil Knows You're Dead (w/ Doogie White)
5. Rock You Like A Hurricane (Scorpions cover) (w/ Rudolf Schenker)
6. Hangin' On (w/ Rudolf Schenker)
7. Rock Bottom (UFO cover) (w/ Pete Way)
8. Doctor Doctor (UFO cover) (w/ Pete Way, Rudolf Schenker, Doogie White and Jeff Scott Soto)

It was only two years ago that Thunder (****1/2) called it a day. I caught them, again at Donington, as part of their farewell tour, and it was an amazing, emotionally charged set. And now, for no real reason, they elected to return for another performance. And it was great stuff, and the band were treated like returning heroes, but at no point was the performance mentioned as being the last show (again). It was a joy to see all the hits again, and even to see singer Danny Bowes embarassing 'Uncle at a wedding' dancing, but they will be back again, without a doubt.

Thunder played...

1. Back Street Symphony
2. River Of Pain
3. Higher Ground
4. Gimme Some Lovin'
5. The Devil Made Me Do It
6. Love Walked In
7. I Love You More Than Rock N' Roll
8. Dirty Love

Probably the most anticipated band of the entire festival for me was Black Country Communion (*****), and I was not disappointed. BCC are truly one of the best 'supergroups' out there, and unlike some other bands using that tag lately (see Chickenfoot and Them Crooked Vultures), they actually have SONGS as well as great musicianship. And when you have Glenn Hughes (Deep Purple, Trapeze, Black Sabbath) on vocals and bass, Jason Bonham (UFO, Foreigner and of course son of John Bonham) on drums, Derek Sherinian (KISS, Dream Theater, Billy Idol, Alice Cooper, Alice In Chains) on keyboards and general guitar god Joe Bonamassa on lead, you can't really fail.

I had heard word that now they have two albums under their belt, they would be sticking to just that stuff, but we did get treated to a stupendous extended version of Bonamassa solo song 'The Ballad Of John Henry', and a scintillating version of Deep Purples 'Burn' (and Hughes can sit those high notes!) as well as some brilliant cuts from the two albums ('Song Of Yesterday' was a particular highlight), the only downside was that the bands time went too quickly. I hope I get the chance to see them again, they were amazing!

BCC played...

1. Black Country
2. One Last Soul
3. Crossfire
4. Save Me
5. Song Of Yesterday
6. The Outsider
7. Man In The Middle
8. The Ballad Of John Henry (Joe Bonamassa cover)
9. Burn (Deep Purple cover)

There have not many bands they have left me emotionally and physically exhausted after a set, but Dream Theater (*****) became one of them. Not in a bad way at all, it was just an onslaught of amazing muscianship and lengthy progressive metal songs, which never failed to leave me gobsmacked. I've seen them twice before at previous Download Festivals, but never playing for more than 45-50 minutes. Here, they were headlining for a full 2 hours, and that is the only way to get the full experience.

Dream Theater are promoting a new record. 'A Dramatic Turn Of Events', which is very apt for the bands last year. The shocking news that co-founder and drummer Mike Portnoy was leaving was an utter shock, personally I believed he WAS the band, and they would struggle with a replacement. But after (allegedly) Portnoy tried to rejoin (and was told no, by the bands lawyer) they found a replacement in Mike Mangini, formerly of Annihilator, and setter of many a speed drumming world record.

Sorry Mr. Portnoy, but they found an amazing replacement, and he was given a rapturous reception, especially after one of the most mind boggling drum solos I have ever seen (on a drum kit that can only be described as looking like a Transformer), he and the rest of Dream Theater are the band, I was way off.

As the band finished, we were pretty much left speechless over what we had just witnessed, and that silence spoke volumes.

Dream Theater played...

1. Under A Glass Moon
2. These Walls 
3. Forsaken
4. Endless Sacrifice
5. Drum Solo
6. The Ytse Jam
7. Peruvian Skies
8. The Great Debate
9. On The Backs Of Angels
10. Caught In A Web
11. Through My Words
12. Fatal Tragedy
13. The Count Of Tuscany
14. Learning To Live

In the couple of days since I returned from London, I have repeatedly thought about what great music we saw at this festival. No gimmicks, no side show attractions (bar the James May misstep) just brilliantly played music, some jazz infused prog in Caravan, to some guitar legends like Slash, Joe Bonamassa, Glenn Tipton and Michael Schenker, to the technical wizadry of Dream Theater, the emotion of Anathema and some massive sing-a-long moments. I'm hard pressed to think of a festival I have been to as tightly packed full of great music than High Voltage 2011 was.

Of course, I want to go back. But next July this country will be hosting the Olympics, and talk already is that a field near Oxford will host the next High Voltage, if it occurs. That means camping, so I best start looking for a new hotel to book!

Below is a video of Dream Theater performing 'These Walls', and some photos I took over the course of the Sunday. For a larger picture, click watch on YouTube, then the expand option.

Michael Schenker



Thunder



Black Country Communion



Black Country Communion



Dream Theater



Dream Theater

Gig Review: High Voltage Festival 2011. Day One: Saturday 23rd July, 2011.

After seven years of attending the Download Festival at Donington Park, I finally decided to try something new. To be honest, last years festival didn't exactly do much to make the decision hard. I found the whole event to be really poorly run, a lot of that being down to AC/DC's dominance of the festival. I also just wanted to take a break for the sleep deprived misery that is camping. It's great to go camping with friends but spending 5 nights in a row in a tent in a field with some scene kid bellowing incredibly tired Family Guy quotes outside is all kinds of no fun. The decision to do something different in 2011 was made as soon as I got back from Donington last June.

A strong contender from the outset was always going to be the High Voltage Festival. A new festival, that only launched last year, the benefits were countless. There's no camping, so that means hotel! Which instantly means a bed, showers and cooked breakfasts. I was almost sold on that fact before any bands were announced.

To be brutally honest, the lineup for last years High Voltage was better. Not so much when you compare Main Stage bands, or even the Prog Stage (Yes, they have a Prog Stage) but the lack of any big names, or any real names at all on the Metal Hammer stage this year when they had the likes of Opeth, Black Label Society, Down, Saxon, Hammerfall and many more last year was a bit shoddy.

But, at the end of the day it was a Classic Rock festival, and there was always going to be sufficient for me to enjoy. And was there ever.

The first day kicked off with a hell of a bang with Michael Monroe (****) who was on fire. I was unsure how he would be without Ginger in the group. His replacement Dregen (from Backyard Babies) was capable enough, but it just didn't feel the same in that respect. Monroe, however, was brilliant. Bouncing from one end of the stage to another, and even scaling the scaffolding at one point, he was great. The songs were from his latest album (which is great, by the way) 'Sensory Overdrive', as well as a few choice Hanoi Rocks and Demolition 23 covers. He only had half an hour but he made it count, and was a fantastic opener to the festival. 

Michael Monroe played...

1. Trick Of The Wrist
2. Got Blood?
3. Modern Day Miracle
4. Motorvatin' (Hanoi Rocks cover)
5. Hammersmith Palais (Demolition 23 cover)
6. '78
7. Nothings Alright (Demolition 23 cover)
8. Back To Mystery City (Hanoi Rocks cover)
9. Dead, Jail Or Rock N' Roll

Following that was a band who have said they would call it a day (again) after their farewell tour at the end of last year. But due to the horrific winter we had, which left a lot of fans unable to get to the shows, and illness within the band (again, flu down to the bad weather) Skin (****) decided to do a final selection of shows. 

Whether this will really be it for the band remains to be seen, but they are really the kind of band that you just forget how good the songs are. In the run up to the festival I was very much "Oh Skin are playing again, cool" but when they come out and start playing songs like 'Tower Of Strength' and 'House Of Love' you really remember. And even now, they are winning people over. A guy behind us had no idea who they were, and by the end of their set he was a new fan, exclaiming how brilliant they were. Always good to see.

As a side note, it's still incredible how many people mix up Skin with the singer from Skunk Anansie. HMV had a store set up on the grounds, doing signings and selling overpriced CDs and DVDs from the artists playing, and in amongst them I spotted a album with the latter Skin on. Idiots!

Anyhow, Skin played...

1. Born To Rock N' Roll
2. House Of Love
3. Take Me Down To The River
4. Look But Don't Touch
5. Tower Of Strength
6. Shine Your Light

At this point we decided to leave the main stage for a bit. The next two bands, Rival Sons (who immediately strike me as this years band that gets forced down everyones throats like Taking Dawn last year, and I have forgotten the version from 2009 already. Also they are not "the next Led Zeppelin" as I heard some moron say) and Queensryche (One of the most boring bands I have ever seen at a festival. Also they recently proclaimed rock music dead in an issue of Classic Rock, but will take the paycheck from a rock festival. Dicks) so we decided to get something to eat.

Even the food at the festival was reasonably priced, and tasty! £8 for some hog roast in a roll with gravy, chunky chips and a drink was a bargain in my eyes. Good eating.

After we ate, we moved to Prog stage, where we happened upon Caravan (****) who I really enjoyed! Veterans of the Canterbury Prog scene that also produced Gong, Egg and Soft Machine, Caravan were formed in 1968 and are still performing on a part time basis today, with original singer and guitarist Pye Hastings still fronting the band! It was really enjoyable set, a real nice change of pace. One highlight was the guitarist, who also played the violin, producing the spoons (yes, spoons!) for a solo! Then the drummer produced a washboard for a brilliant jam session!

Sadly, I was unable to find a complete setlist for the performance but Caravan ended their set with an epic 'Nine Feet Underground'.

After Caravan, and for the first time in all my years of festival-going, I tried a Comfy Crapper! Or Luxury Loo, whichever you wish. At £3 to relieve yourself I was quite dubious, but it was well worth it. Nice, clean and some Vanilla hand soap afterwards, a nice touch!

Following that excitement, we went back to the Prog stage for Anathema (*****) who were absolutely superb! It's the same kind of thing as with Skin, I always forget how good they are till I listen to them again. And they were on top form. Just fantastic songs like 'Everything', the beautiful ballad of 'A Natural Disaster' and the vocoder genius of 'Closer'. And a dedication of 'Dreaming Light' to the people of Norway (Lead guitarist Daniel Cavanaugh lives there) just added so much emotion to the set. I think it is safe to say that wherever they are playing next in this country, I shall be there. Captivating stuff.

Anathema played...

1. Thin Air
2. Summernight Horizon
3. Dreaming Light
4. Everything
5. A Natural Disaster
6. Closer
7. Universal

After that, it was back to the main stage for Thin Lizzy (***) Kinda. As close as you can probably get to Thin Lizzy these days, the band features Scott Gorham on guitar (Who joined Lizzy back in 1974) and original drummer Brian Downey, as well as Marco Mendoza (Whitesnake, Blue Murder, Lynch Mob) on bass, Richard Fortus (Guns N' Roses current guitarist) on lead, and Ricky Warwick (The Almighty) on vocals. It's probably more supergroup than anything now, but it was an entertaining run through of Lizzy classics like 'Jailbreak', 'Whiskey In The Jar', and 'The Boys Are Back In Town' (of course). 

They even had Michael Monroe re-emerge to add saxophone to 'Dancing In The Moonlight'. All of this was hampered though by some poor sound throughout, which apparently was constant on the main stage throughout the Saturday, only rectified for the headliners. We were near the front for every band bar Thin Lizzy, so didn't really notice!

Thin Lizzy played...

1. Are You Ready
2. Waiting For An Alibi
3. Jailbreak
4. Dancing In The Moonlight (It's Caught Me In It's Spotlight) (w/Michael Monroe)
5. Emerald
6. Whiskey In The Jar
7. Cowboy Song
8. The Boys Are Back In Town
9. Rosalie (Bob Seger cover)
10. Black Rose

Last year, the best act at Download for me was Slash (****) Featuring Alter Bridge's Myles Kennedy on vocals, it was a truly superb run through of the hits, and some great material from his solo album. So hopes were high that he would take the festival for his own this year. And while it was great, it didn't quite touch the highs of the 2010 performance for me. It's totally subjective, but there were just too many Slash's Snakepit songs in there for my liking, I would have preferred more solo album, Velvet Revolver or G N' R stuff. But, to be fair, it was his birthday (the built up mass sing-a-long never happened) and he can play what he likes. Which was...

1. Been There Lately (Slash's Snakepit)
2. Nightrain (Guns N' Roses)
3. Rocket Queen (Guns N' Roses)
4. Ghost
5. Mean Bone (Slash's Snakepit)
6. Doctor Alibi (Todd Kerns on vocals)
7. Speed Parade (Slash's Snakepit)
8. Sweet Child O' Mine (Guns N' Roses)
9. Slither (Velvet Revolver)
10. Paradise City (Guns N' Roses)

The last time I had seen the evenings headliners, Judas Priest (****1/2), was a bit of a letdown. 3 years ago at Donington, promoting the rather dismal 'Nostradamus' album, every time the set got going it got stopped by another unimpressive new song. 

This time however was reported to be their farewell (Or Epitaph) tour, and would be a truly best of set. But before they even went out on the road, original guitarist K.K. Downing sensationally quit, preferring to stay at home and (reportedly) work on his golf game!

Replacement guitarist Richie Faulkner (formerly of Voodoo Six and Lauren Harris' band) was drafted in rather quickly, but how would he mesh with the band? 

The answer was quite well, at times you almost forgot about K.K. to be honest. And the band played an absolute stormer, with loads of stuff from throughout their near 40 year career, from 'Rock N' Rolla' to 'Nostradamus' (Yeah, they played a couple from that, and in hindsight it was OK!) The only downside was singer Rob Halford electing to let the crowd sing all of  'Breaking The Law', without going near the mic himself, a slight mark down required for that. But it was 2 and a quarter hours worth of fantastic songs, with the set (and the first day) ending with 'Living After Midnight', a song that I honestly believed they had neglected to play at one point.

Judas Priest played...

1. Rapid Fire
2. Metal Gods
3. Heading Out To The Highway
4. Judas Rising
5. Starbreaker
6. Victim Of Changes
7. Never Satisfied
8. Diamonds And Rust (Joan Baez cover)
9. Prophecy
10. Night Crawler
11. Turbo Lover
12. Beyond The Realms Of Death
13. The Sentinel
14. Blood Red Skies
15. The Green Manalishi (With The Two Pronged Crown) (Fleetwood Mac cover)
16. Breaking The Law
17. Drum Solo
18. Painkiller
19. The Hellion/Electric Eye
20. Hell Bent For Leather
21. You've Got Another Thing Coming
22. Living After Midnight

Here's a video I recorded of Judas Priest perform 'Hell Bent For Leather', and a few photos from the first day...

Michael Monroe



Michael Monroe



Michael Monroe



Anathema



Thin Lizzy



Slash





Judas Priest

Film Review: Batman Forever

As a kid, back in 1995 when it was released, I was all over Batman Forever. Of course, I had seen the first two, but this was the one I really latched onto. I loved it, not knowing much about anything film wise(I may not have realized it was a different guy playing Batman) and I ended up with the toys and all sorts, even a Batmobile!

But it's been a long old time since I last watched it. And having recently purchased the Blu Ray box set of the first four Batman movies, I finally revisited it, honestly expecting to not think much of it at all (after all, it was Joel Schumacer's first Bat-Movie, and we all know what happened with the second.)

To be honest, Batman Forever (at the time) was exactly what the franchise needed. The previous film, 'Batman Returns' was fantastic (and, in my opinion the best of the first four films), but it really let Tim Burton go off in his own direction and the result of that was dark. Very dark. So much so, in fact, that it probably warped a lot of the kiddies that went to see it (Me, being brought up on a steady diet of violent 80s Arnie classics, was made of harder stuff than that!), and the only possible way the studio could go with it was to just lighten things up a bit (of course they could have got darker, perhaps roping in Paul Verhoeven or David Lynch for another installment.)

Tim Burton stayed on in a producing role, with the aforementioned Joel Schumacer taking the directors chair, and Val Kilmer replacing Michael Keaton as Batman, and none of the blame for the films inadequacies lie at his feet, Kilmer is perfectly fine as The Dark Knight and his alter ego Bruce Wayne.

The movie kicks off with Two Face (Tommy Lee Jones, scenery chewing) already set up as the bad guy, in a set piece featuring some still impressive action (although the guy who has the small role as a security guard was pretty dreadful), and we don't get a whole lot of back story about him, other than he was former District Attorney Harvey Dent, and a mobster threw acid into his face during a trial, also affecting his brain, causing him to go off the deep end (look out for a small appearance from Drew Barrymore as one of Two Face's 'Molls'!)

And things are mostly fine with Tommy Lee Jones (although his character does deviate away from the comic books a bit), and the special effects and action sequences are great, but it's just not enough.

A big problem with the film is Jim Carrey. At the time, it all seemed great, Carrey was fresh in everyones minds from The Mask and Ace Ventura, but for the role of Edward Nygma/The Riddler he just recycles the exact same performance. Now, 16 years later (!), with hindsight, the whole performance really grated on my nerves.

Batman Forever also introduced the character of Robin (Chris O' Donnell), after attempts were made in Batman and Batman Returns to shoehorn him in, but the ideas were ultimately scrapped. And, to be fair, they should have stayed that way. While O' Donnell is watchable as Dick Grayson and Robin, and his story slots in with the main plot, it takes almost 40 minutes to introduce him and he does seem kind of superfluous throughout. The Tim Burton (and later the Christopher Nolan) films prove that the best Batman films are the ones sans the 'Boy Wonder'.

A 'kind of' famous Nicole Kidman shows up as the movies love interest, Dr. Chase Meridian (I know, right?) and half the performance is her just throwing herself at Batman (and I mean her character leaves her dignity at the door several times) before she realizes that she really loves the man behind the Bat. If you told me then (and as I was only a kid, I probably wouldn't have cared) that she was going to end up being on of the most famous actresses in the world, I wouldn't have believed you based on what I saw. But you can only work with what you are given I guess!

While the series certainly needed some light moments, the whole thing probably went too far. With Carrey's frankly ridiculous performance, a more jokey atmosphere (Faithful butler Alfred, played again by Michael Gough, gets many one liners this time round) and the horrific leather buttock shot (Yep, Batman Forever got one before Batman And Robin), it's all just a bit too much.

Of course, things were set to get a lot worse in 1997 with Batman And Robin, but it's interesting to see this bridge between the two films, you really get a sense now, in hindsight, of where things would end up. And if I find anything new to say about Batman And Robin, see you back here. Same Bat-Time. Same Bat-Place.

**1/2
After the dark, gothic tone of Batman Returns things did need to lighten up. Probably not this much though! Great action saves the film from OTT performances, and a campy, silly vibe that was soon to be turned up to 11...

Film Review: Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part Two

As I start to type this review, this film has already grossed $168.55 million dollars, beating The Dark Knight's opening, and making it the highest grossing weekend ever. That's in the U.S. of course, and not being funny, that's the only figure that matters. These kind of things are not contested on U.K. money making.

I found the first part of the Deathly Hallows to be the weakest so far (and as this is the first time I have reviewed a Potter film on this blog, I should point out that I have never read the books and judge the films as exactly that - films), with things being dragged out to almost unbearable lengths. At times the whole thing seemed like an advert  for camping in a forest. None of this was helped by the smallest amount of screen time yet for the adult members of the cast, which really showed how weak the acting of Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint really was.

My expectations for this second part were high though. It simply had to kick off, and remain in that position for the entire running time (mercifully the shortest in the entire series at just over 2 hours), but that still wasn't to be.

We join the film as we left Part One, with Harry (Radcliffe), Hermione (Watson) and Ron (Grint) in search of the remaining Horcruxes, leading to a final confrontation with Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) who has now secured the Elder Wand, after the death of Dumbledore (Michael Gambon).

Things start promisingly enough, that is after quite a long and drawn out mission to get another Horcrux which involves a Goblin, a Indy style mine car ride and a dragon. After that we get whisked to Hogwarts, where it is clear it will all go down. But once there there are still quite a few superfluous and dragging scenes where not much actually happens. 

When the action does finally kick off, it's great. The attack on Hogwart's is superbly executed, although the deaths of a couple of key characters seems totally glossed over, like there was a missing scene or two somewhere. For characters who have been in several of the films, to not even see their demise seems a bit of a cop out.

I also had a bit of an issue with the final Potter-Voldemort battle. As I said earlier, I haven't read the books, but without giving too much away it all comes down to getting the final Horcrux destroyed, and how that happens was a total "Erm...really?" moment from this writer.

And that's not even mentioning the unintentionally hilarious '19 Years Later' coda that ended the film. Again, don't want to spoil anything but look out for some brilliantly bad facial hair.

But the positives. The action sequences, as stated, are superb. And I really enjoyed seeing the old faces back again, such as Maggie Smith and Jim Broadbent as Professors McGonagall and Slughorn respectively, although the latter was consigned to just making scared faces a bit, with scarce dialogue.

Talking of scare dialogue, I was also glad to see the bare minimum of lines and screen time given to Helena Bonham Carter. I know these are kids films and you can't raise the acting quality bar THAT high but she has consistently sucked in the Harry Potter series and really brought several scenes throughout down a peg or two (although worst performance in the series still goes to David Tennant and his dreadful mugging in Goblet Of Fire, that shit was painful).

Overall though, for a series of films to go this long and not produce any absolute stinkers is a credit to all involved. Things did take a downturn in these last two though, and you can't exactly question why they split them up (money, for those who need telling), but you have to think how much more of an effective film (film, that is, not adaptation) it would have been all in one sitting. Yeah, it would have touched three hours but I think it would have got away with it.

As a late comer to the series (my first cinema Potter was only Deathly Hallows Part One!), I won't miss its cinema presence like I did with say, Lord Of The Rings, but it will leave a gap to be filled, no doubt, by adaptations of other (probably inferior) material. Question is, will J.K. Rowling ever write another Potter book? I hope not. The series is definitely wrapped up now, and anything else (either pre or post the aforementioned coda) would be pretty bad, it has to be said. To be fair, Rowling could scrawl what she had for breakfast in the morning on her toilet wall in her own faeces and it would make her another million, so it's not like she needs the money.

***

Superb action sequences, and a long awaited (by me) shorter running time, but still dragged down a bit with poor acting from the kids (a problem I never really noticed in the earlier films where there was an adult cast supporting them) and some overlong or pointless scenes. Not the ending I hoped for, but a decent enough cap on the franchise.

Film Review: Battle: Los Angeles

This isn't going to be a long review. Sometimes you get a film that just seems like it can review itself, there's not really a whole hell of a lot to say about it. Battle: Los Angeles is a prime example. You can't really slate the generic action movie acting, or the cliched dialogue or the constant battle scenes because...well, what did you expect?

Aaron Eckhardt heads up a team of Marines who are sent to reclaim Los Angeles after an alien invasion. Eckhardt's character, of course is a few days from retirement, and the rest of the cast are the correct ethnic mix as is the norm in these films. We get a bit of plot introducing them, then we are flung into a huge firefight, then have a rest for a bit of talking, then we get another massive battle as the platoon tries to take down the alien craft controlling many drones.

For a film that is pretty much 90% action sequences, you kinda hope they are good, and they are, no disappointments there. It looks and sounds superb, the special effects are great, and for a film called Battle: Los Angeles, you can't really ask for much more than that. Even if we have seen the same film more times than you can count.

***
Told you it wouldn't be a long review. Cliched, generic stuff but with some brilliant action sequences, and for that it does exactly what it says on the tin.

Film Review: Bridesmaids

On an initial look at Bridesmaids, the comparisons seem clear. "It's the female version of The Hangover!", I'm sure many a lazy reviewer will write and as usual with the comparison game, it's quite a bit off the mark.

Kristen Wiig (who also co-wrote the film along with first-time movie scribe Annie Mumolo) stars as Annie, seemingly suffering an early mid life crisis that already includes a sex only relationship with massive sleazebag Ted (played with relish by an uncredited Jon Hamm), a room mate (Matt Lucas) who has moved his horrendous sister (Rebel Wilson)in without even asking, and a oddball Mother (Jill Clayburgh) who attends AA meetings even though she's never touched a drop. This is all worsened by the news her best friend Lillian (Maya Rudolph) is getting married and wants her to be the maid of honour.

What seems like a great (no pun intended) honour is soon diminished after meeting Lillian's other close friend Helen (Rose Byrne) who is a bit overbearing to put it mildly. Things soon go from bad to worse at engagement parties, bachelorette parties, dress fittings and bridal showers as Annie looks set to totally unravel.

It's all an engaging enough premise, and there are some great performances all around. In particular Melissa McCarthy as the butch bridesmaid Megan is a great comedy creation, and pretty much steals every scene she is in. I was slightly less sure about Matt Lucas' presence in the film, and bar his first appearance doesn't really add anything. Likewise was The IT Crowd's Chris O' Dowd as Annie's new love interest Nathan Rhodes, seemingly the only police officer in the all of Milwaukee.

The main problem I had with the film was it never really settled on what it wanted to be. One minute we have some Hangover-like tastelessness in a hilarious dress fitting scene which ends in all manner of bodily fluids flying. Then there's the Larry David style cringe worthy stuff, the greatest example of which is probably the best scene in the film for me, an excruciating microphone war between Annie and Helen.

Then the entire last act in the film is a heart warming story of true friendship, complete with sing-a-longs and puppies in bow ties. Everything seems completely at odds with everything else in the film. Don't get me wrong, everything is enjoyable enough, it all just clashed too much for this reviewers taste. If you must have a Hangover comparison - at least that stayed pretty tasteless throughout, whereas Bridesmaids flits between comedy styles way too much.

And while the film creeps very close to that "to long for a comedy" running time at 125 minutes, it's great to see Kristen Wiig finally get a top billing film that will do well. I enjoyed her work in Macgruber and The Brothers Solomon (even if other critics mauled the films), and I hope she will enjoy the success reached by her fellow Saturday Night Live alumni Tina Fey. Just stick to a style next time!

***
Legitimately funny throughout, but there are too many different styles of comedy in the mix and a few characters that just don't work. If you can get past that, you'll get a lot of enjoyment out of Bridesmaids. 

Film Review: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon

It's hard being a Transformers fan since Michael Bay made the first film in 2007. The film was good, a entertaining starting block, and more importantly we finally saw Optimus Prime et al on the big screen. Things were promising for the sequel now the scene had been set.

We all know what a train wreck Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen was. Just check out Mark Kermode's now infamous review of it (I actually am saving watching his review of this second sequel till I finish writing this), things were bad.

But for Dark Of The Moon we were promised the comedy would be dialed back, and it would be very dark. At one point a comparison to Black Hawk Down was made (which, in hindsight, is hilarious), but still I wasn't exactly filled with hope but wanted to see it regardless. How could it be any worse than Revenge Of The Fallen?

The answer to that? Easily. The film is so bad that about ten more minutes of it's overblown running time and I would have not been a fan of Transformers anymore, and that says a lot coming from me.

To get the plot out of the way - the 1969 Apollo 11 moon landing was a front for a secret mission to recover a craft that landed on the Moon, sent from the soon to be devastated Cybertron by the Autobots. This leads Decepticon leader Megatron to find out that the human race now owns one of the parts which can assist in bringing former Autobot leader Sentinel Prime back to life (in one of the few good moments,  Sentinel is voiced by Leonard Nimoy as he did in the 1984 animated movie.)

Sadly the hyper annoying human characters remain. Sam Witwicky (the increasingly awful Shia Labeouf) has a new girlfriend in Carly (British model Rosie Huntingdon-Whitely, who is fucking diabolical. In a movie full of bad acting, she takes things to a new depth) and he's looking for a job and he gets one working for Bruce Brazos (John Malkovich) and then Ken Jeong from The Hangover turns up, playing the same role seemingly and...I'm sorry I'm out. The human element is dreadful, dreadful shit and ruins the entire film.

Let's start with Ken Jeong as he was the thing I mentioned last. It's like Michael Bay just watched The Hangover the night before and decided to shoehorn him in. In fact the entire situation with Sam looking for a job doesn't even need to be in the film. If they insist on having a pointless storyline like this at least make it have some kind of payoff at some point. Malkovich is last seen (and I'm not making this up) being TICKLED by Bumblebee. Meanwhile Carly's boss (Patrick Dempsey) is the (rather obvious) human bad guy (and Sam could have got a job with him), and it takes forever for the film to get there.

Sams parents are back too. For no reason whatsoever. And John Tuturro's Agent Simmons returns, also for no reason other than to chat up Frances McDormand's Mearing. And her character serves no purpose other than to appear a bit bitchy for a few minutes, then instantly soften, then vanish for ages.

The makers of this must have driven up the houses of Frances McDormand, John Turturro and John Malkovich with so much money to do this. It's probably the lowest point on all their CVs combined.

Near the start, though I was quite interested in the Moon stuff, although why they kept needing to have presidential impersonators on screen I don't know, and pretty much everything with the Autobots and Decepticons kept me watching. Except the little comedy pair of Autobots, who are essentially replacing the annoying pair from the last film!

Ah yes, the comedy. Let me just go off on a tangent here. It isn't dialed back, and it isn't funny unless you have suffered some serious blow to the head. It just all misses the mark by a long, long shot.

"But it's a kids film!" I hear you cry. You could have fooled me! Opening with a gratuitous arse shot of Carly, repeated strong language and several instances of people being literally blown apart, a lot of this is not suitable for kids. And to be fair, Bay is probably not the best choice for someone to direct a kids film.

But anyway, I tried to keep interested in the parts of the film that actually contained Transformers, but it was a losing battle, every time something interesting happened, we went back to check on Sam, or some other annoying/superfluous character. The absolute nadir of this came when a climatic fight started between Optimus Prime and Sentinel Prime, and we had an instant cut away to Sam. I don't want to see what Shia LaBeouf is up to, it's probably just stepping out of a car with that weird constipated looking on his face! Nor do I want to see his balloon lipped girlfriend stand there pouting in slow motion FOR NO REASON. I want to see robots kick the ever loving shit out of each other!

By this point I didn't care about any of it, I really didn't. I'm pretty sick of the franchise and if we get another one there needs to be some serious changes. The first few are covered, Michael Bay and Shia LaBeouf are not returning, this is good. But we really don't need humans with love interests and sub plots, we just need the robots (who can talk, by the way, so they can explain the story without the need for actors to do it again, but I guess the only people who will get any enjoyment out of this were dropped on their heads at birth) and the army guys (rumour has it Jason Statham may end up in the 4th movie, he would be perfect as an army guy) but we will see.

As it stands now, the whole franchise can just go away and never return. It says a lot that after 3 attempts, the cheesy as hell animated movie is still the strongest in the series. Go check that out.

*
One star is being generous to this absolute turd. Every time it starts to get vaguely interesting, pointless, annoying characters are shoehorned in to keep the idiot public happy. Fucking terrible, but the 3D was good. The one star can be for that.

Strange Days: Thom's House Of Words at London Film And Comic Con 2011

Like a glutton for geeky punishment, and based on the very impressive array of guests announced, I decided to make the trek to London again for another convention. This time the London Film And Comic Con at Earls Court 2, which was to feature big name stars like Christopher Lloyd, Tom Sizemore, Christopher Lambert and for the kids/big kids some big Doctor Who names in Karen Gillan (The Doctors current assisstant, I was reliably informed), and Alex Kingston (Who I knew as "her out of E.R.")

As I was unsure when others I was to be meeting up with would be arriving, I made the fairly insane plan to get the 630am train out of Norwich to London, and getting in Early Bird entry. Which was just about worth it with the 'virtual queuing' system they have there (Basically, you take a ticket for a person you want to meet and come back when your number is up. Doesn't sound too hard, but it did seem to cause confusion for quite a few people.)

But, after grabbing the tickets I realised I was on my own at the convention, so quickly went outside for a spell, couldn't take the almost radioactive levels of geekery on my own.

After everyone arrived we went to get everything signed. First up was Christopher Lloyd, who already had a huge 'virtual queue' number, but we were lucky enough to get in. He was a nice guy, but quite slow with the signing, which in the end meant a lot of people went away empty handed. But it was great to meet him and get my Back To The Future Blu Ray boxset signed.



After that we went to meet Tom Sizemore. Now, I wasn't 100% sure whether I wanted to meet him, but I decided to and opted to get my Heat DVD signed (which had already been signed by Val Kilmer back in 2005) and I was so glad I did. To say he was a character was an understatement!

My friend John took his 8 year old son Indiana up first, as Indy likes to meet the people from the films a lot too, and out of nowhere, Tom Sizemore lays down this bizarre rant on how to fight. It went a little something like this "This is how you fuck people up, BOOM! Just beat the shit out of them, fuck them up. Like the World Trade Centre. No one saw it coming, everyone died, BOOM!", as the cigarette he had behind his ear went flying. It was probably one of the most surreal moments of my life.

When he met me, he noticed Val Kilmer had signed the DVD, and he started going on about how Val was in a bad way, weighed over 300 pounds now, and how much of a close friend he was to him. It was strange days indeed, as the title of one of his films goes. Don't get me wrong though, he was the friendliest guy we met all day.





We also met Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, who was in License To Kill, Pearl Harbour, Mortal Kombat, and others. I got him to sign Showdown In Little Tokyo, a personal favourite. He was a nice guy, and we were to run into him again later...



Meeting Robert Knepper was amazing. I'm currently immersed in the fourth season of Prison Break, so it was a very timely meeting. Took the opportunity to tell him how awesome, the show, his character and his appearance in Breakout Kings was. He told me I was in for a treat with the rest of Prison Break, I don't doubt him! He was a lovely guy, really was.



Corey Feldman was an odd one. I met him back in 2004, I think and he was really cool. Now it seems he is riding on the 'success' of the Lost Boys sequels a bit, and possibly appearing recently in a Katy Perry music video, as he was surrounded by an entourage and kept taking repeated breaks. So we took a wander instead and ran into a stall which had Richard Brooker sitting there! Richard, of course, played Jason in the third Friday The 13th film and as I had my Friday the 13th boxset for Corey to sign, I got him to sign it too! We commented on how we didn't know he was going to be there, his response was "Neither did I", nice guy though.



We finally returned to Corey and he was alright, even with 3 different items for 3 different people to sign. He's been cool when I've met him, but sometimes I guess you lose yourself in it all, I probably would!



John and I also bumped into Sean Clark, who worked on the epic Elm Street documentary 'Never Sleep Again', as well as other ones for Friday The 13th, Halloween and more (including an unreleased Texas Chainsaw Massacre one), and as we found out responsible for getting a lot of the guests over. One name in particular that he is trying to convince to come over would probably bankrupt me. He was a great guy though, hope to meet him again at a future one.

After John met Highlander star Christopher Lambert (£35 for a signature was a bit too much for me), my final meet of the day was Lea Thompson. Best known for her role as Marty McFlys Mum in Back To The Future, I opted to get the John Hughes classic 'Some Kind Of Wonderful' signed instead. She was really nice also, and got me the only posed photo of the day with her. It seems that Showmasters (who run these things) would rather you pay for a signature, pay for a photo session, pay for a talk...it's just a big money generating machine these days.



As we walked around again, we bumped into Cary Takawa again and had a chat with him about Showdown In Little Tokyo, and what Brandon Lee was like to work with. Cary is such a nice guy, and he posed for a photo with Indiana which was very cool of him.

Just before we left, we noticed Tom Sizemore was doing a (free) talk. After earlier, we had to check it out and we heard some great stories about what it was like working for Michael Bay, making Black Hawk Down,  how he found the character of Scagnetti in Natural Born Killers and how he is enjoying his second chance at a career after his legal problems of the last few years. And then he let slip he will be in The Expendables 2. Great news to see him back on the big screen.

It was a great day all in all. I'm not a massive fan of the weirdos dressed up like Manga characters, or Kick Ass or Scott Pilgrim (one of which had a shirt on with a piece of paper taped to it, the words 'Scott Pilgrim' daubed on it in permanent marker, nice effort) but it's always a pleasure to meet the people you've seen on the big or small screen for years and tell them how much you dig their work.

I'm sure I'll be back in October to meet Alex Winter!

Here are some quick links to what I got signed...

Heat DVD signed by Tom Sizemore:  http://bit.ly/n8ARe4

Back To The Future Blu Ray set signed by Christopher Lloyd:  http://bit.ly/r2YNlw

Friday The 13th boxset signed by Richard Brooker and Corey Feldman: http://bit.ly/npyYIc

Some Kind Of Wonderful DVD signed by Lea Thompson:  http://bit.ly/q8TXps

Prison Break boxset signed by Robert Knepper: http://bit.ly/qqQSLN

Showdown In Little Tokyo DVD signed by Cary-Hiroyuki Takawa:  http://bit.ly/qlxF80

Film Review: Super

The problem with a film as unique as Kick Ass is that every film even slightly similar that follows it, whether it was shot first or not will be compared to it. When Kick Ass was released and became a big success other films were rush released, most notably Defendor with Woody Harrelson, and the box art for the DVD was very Kick Ass inspired.

Another will which is bound to be called 'This Years Kick Ass' by a slew of lazy reviewers who can't be bothered to sell the film on it's own merits, is Super. The only comparison between the films is that the films main character decides to become a super hero even though they possess no powers.

Super is the story of Frank D'Arbo (Rainn Wilson) who decides to become The Crimson Bolt after his wife Sarah (Liv Tyler) leaves him for drug pusher and all around nasty piece of work Jacques (Kevin Bacon). Not possessing any powers, he decides to just use a wrench instead, and along the way picks up a peppy sidekick
Libby, super hero name Boltie (Ellen Page) and together they fight crime (when it comes along) before a final confrontation with Jacques and his henchmen.

For the most part Super is a slightly surreal quirky comedy with some moments of black humour. At times its quite realistic, but other times (such as a dream sequence when Frank is visited by TV evangelist The Holy Avenger, played brilliantly by Nathan Fillion, where Frank 'bestowed powers' by some kind of tentacled monster) it's quite strange.

But it all balances quite well against everything else. Even the over the top violence (and things to get quite brutal in places) seems appropriate for the (mostly) realistic plot. At one point a cinema queue jumper (and his  girlfriend) are taken out by the wrench wielding Crimson Bolt. Again, quite realistic but some twisted humour to be had in the situation.

But it's the last act (not even that really, more the last 20 minutes) that things get really dark. It just stops being a comedy, and ends up being quite moving by the end. It's a real curve ball to throw at something that had mostly been a fun watch. But it really works. Although there was one element to it I had to question, but there we have quite a large spoiler, so allow me just to say - I wish they hadn't.

Overall Super is a great film, with a fantastic performance from Rainn Wilson. Not just relying on his usual 'weirdo outsider' shtick as seen in the US Office and Six Feet Under, he does add a layer of empathy for the character, even when he is hammering the crap out of someone with a wrench!

****
A brilliant film, although quite disturbing in places. And ultimately nothing like Kick Ass. Catch it if you can.