Film Review: Dead Snow

I have to say, I entered Dead Snow with some doubts. I mean, Nazi zombies? Really? Although at the same time, I have to admit it is a surprise it took someone this long to do it. Also, the cover of the Blu Ray has the mirthless pun "Ein! Zwei! Die!", which did even more to put me off, but I finally had a watch and was pleasantly surprised...

A group of Norwegian medical students journey to a remote cabin for a ski holiday, but after finding some treasure they awaken a horde of vengeful Nazi zombies.

Bear with me here, it's better than it sounds. Firstly, it manages the rarity of having a cast that is totally likable. And when they eventually start to get picked off, you do feel a bit sad. It's not something that happens much in this type of film, usually the students or whatever random teenagers that feature are so annoying that you can't wait to see them die! It's the first film I've seen since Hatchet where I've liked the soon to be murdered cast!

Another massive positive is that Dead Snow doesn't take itself too seriously, in fact in places it's downright hilarious, and you can see a huge influence from Sam Raimi's Evil Dead movies throughout (in fact Evil Dead 2, along with some other films, are name-checked near the start of the film.)

The films builds up nicely in the first half, complete with random stranger warning the students about the Nazi menace in the area (In the Second World War, villagers staged an uprising against looting Nazis, and killed or ran them off...or so they thought), then as soon as they find the treasure, all hell breaks loose!

It's a spectacular second half filled with some fantastic zombie carnage, and one or two brilliantly inventive moments (there's a great 'cliffhanger' moment), and a continuing sense of humour throughout.

The only real problem stems from the fact that there's not a whole lot you can do with the zombie genre of horror movie. Sure it's always great to see zombies terrorize people, and the hilarious ways the people battle back, and the Nazi element is an interesting twist, but when it boils down to it, it's been seen before.

Now, that's not the fault of the film, in fact it tries to make things a bit different by having slightly different zombies. Imagine a more developed version of the undead we saw in Romero's Land Of The Dead (but they are fast, not slow) and you may get an idea. The zombies seem almost methodical at times, and even have a commander, so have some kind of hierarchy (The commander actually uses binoculars at one point), so these aren't your usual eat and destroy ones. But don't worry, they do plenty of that if they have to!

While zombie films are never going to top the classics like Dawn/Day Of The Dead, they still prove entertaining and films like Dead Snow and The Horde (reviewed here) prove there's still some life in the undead.

****
Save the Nazi element it's not particularly original but Dead Snow is still a riotously entertaining zombie romp that will please gorehounds everywhere. Top stuff.

Film Review: My Bloody Valentine (1981)

Following on the heels of the first wave of American slasher films, that included the classics 'Halloween' and 'Friday The 13th', came 'My Bloody Valentine', with a score of others, mainly revolving around dates in the calender ('Happy Birthday To Me', 'Prom Night', 'Graduation Day') but there's something about 'My Bloody Valentine' that puts it ahead on the pack of the pretenders, but not quite reaching the heights of the escapades of Michael Myers and Jason Voorhees.

20 years after a series of murders at the towns mine, stemming from an accident at the mine whilst people were at a party, Valentines Bluff decides to ignore the killers warnings of retribution and host a big Valentines party. You see, the killer, although incarcerated, Harry Warden (Peter Cowper) always promised to return if the townsfolk celebrated Valentine's Day again, and true enough, everyone starts suddenly dropping like flies.

There's nothing especially original about it all (now, more than ever) and none of the cast are as memorable as a Laurie Strode, but the story is quite gripping and the death scenes (and at the end of the day, that's what we are wanting to see) are superb.

That wasn't always the case though. Back on it's release in 1981, the MPAA cut 9 minutes of the film due to the excessive violence and gore, and it wasn't till 2009, when Lions Gate acquired the rights to the film, was the original footage put back in. And while compared to today's standards it could be seen as tame, it still provides the shocks lacking from similar films in the genre.

There's no real let up in the pace until near the end. The townspeople start getting picked off within 15 minutes of the opening titles, but as the film comes towards its conclusion it all slows down, as the remaining characters are running around trying to escape a mine (naturally, the kids of the town opt to have a party AT THE MINE, re-enforcing the rule that teenagers in horror films are the dumbest teenagers ever), and it does get a bit sluggish there.

The conclusion of the film is a bit 'wacky' also, and almost screams "sequel" at the viewer, but that was never to be. The film picked up a cult following, and was then brought back to public attention (also in 2009) with the remake (which was a 3D affair), and shockingly, that was a remake which this reviewer didn't actually mind. Not a patch on the original, which you can finally see uncut, after all these years (if you have a multi-region DVD player, that is.)

***1/2
Whilst not containing the power and effect of Halloween or Friday The 13th, My Bloody Valentine was a surprisingly good slasher film, only let down by a forgettable teenage cast and ending which really lags.

Film Review: Warrior

Whilst it's certainly not the first film to feature forms of Ultimate Fighting or MMA (Mixed Martial Arts), 'Warrior' is probably going to be the benchmark. Elliciting memories of what Rocky did for boxing movies is the best comparison to make, and while there is a lot in common between the two films I'm going try not to compare and contrast between the two, because, much like boxing and MMA, they are very different beasts.

That hasn't stopped some reviewers though. I'm sure some of you have seen the bus advert for 'Warrior', declaring it was like "All the Rocky movies rolled into one" (I can't remember the publication, but it's a terrible comparison.) If you are going in expecting that you will be getting talking love interest robots that talk, men in cut off shirts hugging in the sea, subplots about children's jewellery etc, you may be disappointed.

But anyway, 'Warrior' tells the story of two brothers, Tommy (Tom Hardy) and Brendan Conlon (Joel Edgerton), two men who haven't seen each other in years and have very little in common. Brendan is a school teacher who is married with kids, but facing steep bills and possible bankruptcy.

Little is known about Tommy, other than he was in the Marines and has showed back up in town, seemingly on a mission to get as far in the MMA world as possible. One thing the two brothers have in common is a fractured relationship with their estranged, alcoholic father Paddy (Nick Nolte) and their separate roads lead to a huge MMA tournement, where their paths inevitably cross.

While the story is a trifle cliched, it doesn't stop it being enthralling. And for the most part the tone of the film is very serious, particularly the relationship between the brothers and their father, that pulls no punches at all (no pun intended.) The only downside really is some of the subplots (namely one involving Brendan's students trying to watch him fight) almost seem like something from a different, cheesier film.

The performances throughout the film are superb, from Edgerton's subtle underdog family man to Hardy's slightly unhinged wrecking machine (damn it, just made an unintentional Rocky reference, apologies), but also brilliant is Nick Nolte. I know there's plenty of joke mileage to get out of it not taking a lot of effort for him to play an alcoholic, but it's a fantastic, heart breaking performance from a guy who should be in more films. Nolte always seems to have the small roles lately, it's great to see him given such a substantial character.

Also keep an eye out for former WWE superstar Kurt Angle as the feared Russian competitor Koba, who is odds on favourite to win the competition. Was quite amusing to see the very American athlete playing a Russian. I guess Dolph Lundgren was busy!

When we get to the tournement, we get to the fighting (although we get some smaller matches earlier), and these are superb. Obviously, I don't know much about MMA, but these were thrillingly shot, and brought out such a reaction from me at times, you'd think I was watching it live. Heart-poundingly good!

Without giving too much away (and this could be read as a positive rather than a negative), but at the end of the film I was desperate for it to continue. Things were left unanswered and unresolved, but anytime you want a 139 minute film (and it doesn't feel that long at all) to continue, the filmmakers must be doing something right.

****
Despite being a little corny in places, Warrior is a superb film, that whilst being more about the relationship between brothers and their father, still has plenty to please fight films. Great performances from the leads, and welcome back Nick Nolte. Highly recommended. 

Film Review: The Pack (La Meute)

Recently every French horror film I've seen has just been fantastic. From the brilliant zombie romp 'The Horde', to the genre-stupefying Martyrs, everything the country seems to produce has outclassed anything this country or the States could muster.

So when I heard about another French movie that seemed to get a bit of praise, and featured monsters, in 'The Pack' (or La Meute) I was keen to see it. But sadly, I was left disappointed overall.

In the middle of nowhere, Charlotte (Emilie Dequenne) picks up a hitchhiker, Max (Benjamin Biolay) and they make their way to a roadside restaurant. But whilst there, Max vanishes, and only when Charlotte returns later that night to try and find him she finds out he is the son of the mysterious restaurant owner, La Spack (Yolande Moreau) who has been abducted people to feed to her undead 'children', a pack of flesh eating monsters.

Charlotte's only hope is the former sheriff (who,spends the entire time of the film wearing a shirt with the slogan 'FUCK ON THE FIRST DATE' for no reason whatsoever) who becomes suspicious of the dodgy restaurant.

As interesting as that sounds, I can assure you it isn't. The major problem stems from the fact that the film takes forever to get going. Whilst I don't mind slowly paced films, this just drags on and on, and even when the hideous brood of creatures finally appear, even that is pretty dull.

Now, don't get me wrong there are a few legitimately good moments in the film, and some fantastic gore, but it's all just too few and far between. There's also a nicely creepy performance from Moreau as the restaurant owner and brood 'mother'.

The make-up effects on the creatures (when we finally see them) are quite impressive also, and they are suitably scary, but with so build up to them, interest struggles to remain.

Even the ending dragged on a bit for me, and this isn't a long film we are talking about here, it's pretty much done within 80 minutes, but couldn't even hold my interest for that. Other than the aforementioned plus points, there's not a whole hell of a lot here to recommend it.

**
Some nice gore and shocks aside, this is pretty dull horror that somehow manages to make even an 80 minute run time drag.

Film Review: The Toxic Avenger

The film that put Troma Entertainment on the map is, in many ways, hard to review. On one hand, it's considered a cult classic, and I would fully agree with that sentiment. But, you can't help but face the inescapable fact that it is terrible. In an entertaining way, of course, but the fact remains.

Melvin (Mark Torgl) is a hapless, nerdy mop boy at Tromaville Health Club who is taunted and bullied by the not-very-pleasant-at-all gym goers, which culminates in him taking a header out of a window and into a passing vat of toxic waste. This unleashes his alter ego and turns into the hulking Toxic Avenger, a monster who will stop at nothing to make every wrong-doer in Tromaville pay.

And boy, are there a lot of wrong-doers in Tromaville! Seemingly intent on ignoring any kind of subtly and being as politically incorrect as possible, the filmmakers cram the film full of the vile scum imaginable. The aforementioned health club bullies like to run over ethnic minorities and children on the side (and taking photos of the results!), robbers holding up fast food restaurants shoot guide dogs...the list goes on. Thankfully the film is so insanely over the top all these bad eggs seem like caricatures, nothing seems really REAL.

Although not everyone shares my views. Actor Patrick Kilpatrick (who went on to feature in Eraser, The Replacement Killers, Under Siege 2 etc) actually walked out of the film after being asked to point a shotgun at a baby. OK, on second thought, not everything seems like a caricature...

If it does to you, however, the punishments for them fit the crime. If anything, the savaging dealt out on bullies and scum bags of the film is even worse than what they do! Eyeballs are wrenched out, a man is turned into a human ice cream (much worse than it sounds), arms are torn off...

So the film is pretty violent, to put it mildly. But is it any good?

Even though the acting is universally dreadful, and, bar a few set pieces and the make up effects, looking like it was filmed on the worlds tightest budget, the whole thing is gloriously entertaining. It may be dumber than a bag of hammers, but its hilariously funny, totally un-PC and ridiculously over the top. And the most important thing of all is that it's meant to be.

The Toxic Avenger is definitely not everyone's cup of tea, hell, it's not even a lot of horror fans idea of a good movie, but it's a just a ton of crazy, gory fun.

***
Poorly acted it may be, but Toxic Avenger is a hugely entertaining gorefest that will thrill splatter-fans everywhere. Although, they probably have already seen it. Everyone else should take a deep breath, not take it too seriously, and have a watch.

Film Review: Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy (2011)

Even though I had never read John Le Carre's book, or watched the BBC's 1979 adaptation starring Alec Guinness, I was still looking forward to this new film version of Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy with a great deal of anticipation.

And while I was excited at seeing the top drawer English cast that had been assembled together (Gary Oldman, Colin Firth, Tom Hardy, John Hurt, Toby Jones, the ubiquitous Mark Strong, Ciaran Hinds and Benedict Cumberbatch), the main reason for wanting to see it was for the director, Tomas Alfredson, whose last film was, of course, the excellent 'Let The Right One In'.

It was a film that not only was one of the greatest horror movies ever made, but one of those rare films that actually transcended the genre. It was a masterpiece. So Alfredson's follow up was also going to be something I'd pay close attention to.

George Smiley (Oldman) is an MI5 operative forced into retirement along with his superior Control (Hurt), but after details emerge of a possible Soviet spy within the group, he is called back in to investigate. The story (based during the time of the Cold War) goes back and forth to piece together the events as they play out.

As with 'Let The Right One In', TTSS is not really a film for the casual film-goer. But with the starry British cast, that's exactly the audience it seems to attract.

You may know the sort of person I mean - last seen at a cinema for more palatable stuff like 'The Kings Speech' or 'Mamma Mia!', and they may get quite stymied by the incredibly deliberate pacing of TTSS. In fact, during the Sunday afternoon screening I went to, 10 people walked out! Out of a full screen, but still the most walk outs I have ever witnessed at a film.

As well as the deliberate pace, no attempt to made to tell the audience what is a flash back and what isn't. That isn't a negative by any means, in fact it brings along a great payoff later in the film.

What put a couple of the walkers off (or so it seemed) was the violence. Not having seen the BBC adaptation, I can only assume it was constrained by what can be shown on the BBC at the time. This has flashes of violence, but it was quite brutal when it occurs. Very similar in fact to 'Let The Right One In' in that respect.

The film is full of great performances, with obviously all the attention on Oldman's Smiley, which is already being tipped for an Oscar nomination. This isn't a manic performance from Oldman like you've seen in Leon, True Romance or State Of Grace, it's a subtle performance, best highlighted in a scene where he tells his young partner (Cumberbatch) a story about what happened to a lighter that was given to him by his wife.

Last years Oscar winner Colin Firth is also great (the odd times he is in it) as Haydon, the lecherous colleage of Smileys at MI6. I would have loved to have seen more scenes with Oldman and Firth though, the screen really lit up the couple of substantial scenes they have together.

With all these great performances (and I struggle to think of a duff showing from any of the cast), I still wasn't totally blown away by the film though. It's not quite a five star movie, but probably one of the best British movies of this year.

There are more Le Carre novels that feature the George Smiley character (one of which, Smiley's People, was also adapted by the BBC), so I hope that Oldman and Alfredson return, because unlike the ignorant people who seem to demand explosions in their movies every 30 seconds, I would love to see more.

****
Not quite the 5 star masterpiece I was hoping for, but a fantastic film with great performances from all and more masterful direction from Tomas Alfredson, showing he's just as suited in this genre as horror. Recommended.

Film Review: Fast And Furious 5 (Fast Five)

It's fair to say I haven't exactly been a massive fan of the Fast And (The) Furious franchise. I didn't really mind the first one, saw a bit of the second one (the ridiculously titled '2 Fast 2 Furious'), and never bothered with the others. It seems the films have had their ups and downs with it's main stars Vin Diesel and Paul Walker both leaving at various points, only to both return in 2009's 4th installment  'Fast & Furious' (not to be mistaken with the original, 'The Fast And The Furious.)

Both Walker and Diesel return for Fast Five, which was given the hideously clunky title 'Fast And Furious 5: Rio Heist' upon it's release in the UK. Couldn't see anything wrong with the title 'Fast Five' myself, it's not as if people are going to get confused when they see the two leads on a poster, there's precious little else that they are in.

The film is given a further burst of testosterone with the casting of Dwayne Johnson as Federal Agent Luke Hobbs, who is given the task of bringing in Dominic Toretto (Diesel) and Brian O' Conner (Walker), as well as Toretto's sister Mia (fellow 'Fast' original Jordanna Brewster) after a daring prison transport break.

As these things tend to go, the fugitives need to do 'one last job' so they can escape forever, but robbing an evil drug lord (Joaquim de Almeida, totally underused) is going to be even harder than it sounds.

Nothing about the film is particularly original or surprising. In fact, most of it quite predictable. What isn't predictable, however is how much fun it all is. The action sequences are fantastic, from the opening 'jailbreak' to the climatic chase through the streets of Rio, these are probably the best you'll see this year. Jaw droppingly good in places.

Also brilliant was the masterstroke to add Dwayne Johnson to the cast. Hobbs is the quintessential movie hardcase, spouting macho dialogue every scene he's in, and just pounding the crap out of anyone that crosses his path (at one point he actually does a throat rip, in a 12 certificate movie - that must be a first), and of course this all leads to a fantastic fight scene between Hobbs and Toretto, which should have gone on much longer (and it wasn't a short fight either!)

Another plus for me was scaling back the 'car porn' of the first film. While there is still plenty of the "Look at this car...now look at THIS car" stuff going on, it's very much more an action film. In comparison, it's like when the Best Of The Best films stopped being about martial arts competitions and turned into actioners, but with better results.

The film is reminiscent in places of an 80s action film. Minimal plot, very stupid (and believe me, I mean very stupid) and with huge action sequences, but where the similarities end is the main problem with the film, and the same problem which hampered my enjoyment of the first one. And Pitch Black. And Running Scared. I think you may see where I'm going with this...

I've always found Vin Diesel and Paul Walker to be severely lacking in the charisma department, and most of the time their acting (although not exactly a priority in this kind of film) is wooden to put it mildly. Putting them on screen with Johnson, probably the most naturally charismatic action stars in years really shows how tiresome they can be. During car chases and fight scenes, obviously this is fine. But their presence seems to dullen all the parts in between.

But there's not much that can be done about that, they are the stars of the show, and no doubt will be when the 6th chapter hits cinemas in 2013 (and if you stay after the first batch of credits, you'll have a nice tease for that), but at the end of the day for a film that isn't just a sequel, but a 4th sequel to be as entertaining as Fast Five, that's good work indeed.

***1/5
Big, dumb, OTT stuff, and great fun. Possibly the most fun of all the 'Fast...' movies. Dwayne Johnson is brilliant and deserves a spin-off, but the bland combo of Diesel and Walker drags things down a bit. If you're looking for a stupid action film, look no further.