The mere fact that Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and Slayer actually got together for a tour is pretty incredible. Sure there was the 'Clash Of The Titans' tour in 1991 but that was missing Metallica - a key ingredient I'm sure you agree.
So it was pretty disappointing that it was not to hit U.K. shores (at the moment, we may get it in 2011 or 2012) but fear not! Some enterprising bod in the music business decided to get in shown in cinemas across the world - live from Sofia in Bulgaria.
Not the most tropical location, but a result. See Metallica play in your local multiplex - good shit right? Well that kinda depends...
My friend Andrew and I discovered that the Cinema City in Norwich was showing it for just £8 a ticket so we snapped them up and headed down there. We had no idea what was waiting for us.
For a starter - and this is so 'by the way' to the main story I had actually forgotten and remembered again about 3 paragraphs down - it wasn't live. The best way to put it was extended highlights although Anthrax and Slayer may have had their full sets shown.
We really should have been worried when 2 people walked in with cardboard Ozzy Osbourne masks (perfect for sitting in a blacked out room and not watching Ozzy Osbourne).
For the first 3 bands (Anthrax, Megadeth and Slayer who all for the record weren't brilliant) all seemed fine. Then we had a brief break where tribute was paid to the late Ronnie James Dio then it all started to go a bit south.
Now when I say cheering broke out when Metallica took the stage I don't mean a hearty "RAAAAY" or applause or anything like that. It sounded like Charlie Says and this clapping which sounded like people were missing 3 out of 4 strikes.
It continued throughout with fruitless attempts to try and clap in rhythm fall on their arse. For the duration it was just pretty annoying. Don't mind applause and that but at the end of the day you're in a cinema. Dial it down a notch.
Throughout there was a woman sat next to Andrew who had a notebook out and was writing something. Fair enough. Even though again - you're in a cinema. Bit hard to write anything. Metallica start playing 'Enter Sandman' and I feel a slight rocking sensation. So I turn to Andrew and ask "Is that you?" to see the woman rocking violently back and forth. We were legitimately worried she had Parkinson's.
Then it started to get worse. As the band carried on playing someone behind us shouted "Seek & Destroy!". Yep. They shouted a song request. To the cinema screen. That was showing pre-taped highlights. Of a show in Bulgaria.
The requests were to continue. "Enter Sandman!" another voice at the back shouted. About 12 minutes after they had played 'Enter Sandman'.
And worst yet. Someone actually shouted out "She Sells Sanctuary!" A song by The Cult.
Now I know what you may be thinking - "Ahh they had a few beers and were just pissing around". No. I can tell when there is that sort of wacky humour whether it be in the tone of their voice or maybe some sneaky laughing between themselves after the 'joke'. There was none of this. These people were being deadly serious.
The worst moment of all was to come right after the historic moment when all 4 bands took to the stage and performed Diamond Head's 'Am I Evil?' together. After the historic moment they all gathered for a photo in front of the drumkit. Obviously the photo was being taken on a digital camera as we never saw the camera angle they were looking at. Then someone in our audience shouted this:
"THEY CAN SEE US!"
Let me just recap. Using bullet points.
- Digital Camera
- Cinema Screen in Norwich, UK
- Concert in Sofia, Bulgaria
- 90 -120 minute time delay
- No form of camera or recording equipment in the room in Norwich
We soon left. Just as they started 'Seek And Destroy' as it goes. The collected noise in the room sounded like a room full of monkeys having a wank.
I can only assume either one of the following -
- The room had been double booked with a Yellow Bus outing, but instead of postponing either event they decided to show the Metallica show making a change from scrawling in crayon on the wall.
- Heavy Metal fans really are as dense as the rest of the world thinks.
It could really go either way.
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