Film Review: Jonah Hex

Recently, I've made it my mission to trawl through as many films that have come out in the last few years to see if they are as bad as all reviews seem to make out. So far, I've had to agree with them, but I live in hope that I find something I really dig. Jonah Hex is not that film.

Quite how this film can go wrong is astounding. The cast includes Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, Michael Shannon, Will Arnett, Wes Bentley and Lance Reddick, it's written by Crank directors Neveldine/Taylor, no stranger to massive action, and hell Mastodon supply the soundtrack!

The plot, such as it is, concerns Jonah Hex (Brolin), a scarred bounty hunter in the Wild West asked by the President to stop terrorists (led by Quentin Turnbull, John Malkovich) from unleashing a weapon of mass destruction (turns out they existed back then, too.) Shoehorned into all this is sassy hooker Lilah (Megan Fox, pouting a lot.)

And you'd think Megan Fox would be one of the problems in the film, but she's not required to do that much, no the problem lies squarely with the plot. It's all over the place. And I mean, there were points where I had no clue what was going on it was such a jumble.

The film, not including opening and closing credits is an hour and ten minutes. No joke, and it really shows. The whole story is rushed through so quickly that you will be left dizzy. Whose decision it was for this film to have such a short running time it was, I don't know.

The first ten minutes are decent enough too, that's why it's annoying. The film had potential, just a look at the cast shows you that, but then it goes full throttle, not slowing down for anything. Sometimes a good thing in a film, but when it doesn't even slow down for plot, you know you're in trouble.

Most of the starry cast (with the obvious exception of Brolin) are severely underused. Boardwalk Empire's Michael Shannon a prime example. I didn't even notice he was in the film until the final credits rolled. Lance Reddick (who viewers of The Wire, Fringe and Lost will know well) has 1 scene and his character is done with, save for a few cut backs near the end, and after his two scenes near the start, I actually forgot Will Arnett was in the film! So many great actors wasted.

And what must have these actors have been thinking? The only explanation I can think of is that they thought they were getting the start and end of the script, and the massive chunk in the middle would be ready soon. And this film desperately needed a chunk in the middle just so it could slow things down and get some pace going. Even 'extending' the film to 90 minutes would have helped!

And even with the films hurtling running time, we still get treated to the events that started the film about 3 times! Quentin Turnbull was responsible for burning Jonah Hex's face and the death of his family, we get it. Obviously not, as that point is rammed home at the films climax, in case we had forgotten.

It doesn't help that this is director Jimmy Hayward's first live action feature. A former Pixar animator, he then directed Horton Hears A Who. And the transition from animation to live action was not very smooth either. It's pretty much a disaster.

But it's not an unmitigated disaster. There is the odd plus point. As I said, the first ten minutes showed real promise, there are some cool weapons on display, and Mastodon provided a good soundtrack but it's not enough really. This is just a huge failure, when it really shouldn't have been.

*
A film that should have been watchable, given to a director who had never helmed a live action film before, and then having it's entire plot crammed into just over an hour. A giant waste of talent and time.