Being a massive fan of John Carpenter's 1982 classic, I was unsure that I really wanted to sit and watch a prequel that fills in the gaps of what exactly happened in the Norwegian camp running up to the start of that film, but nonetheless, I gave it a go. And while it wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be, the whole thing was a waste of time, pretty much.
Paleontologist Kate Lloyd (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) is recruited by a team of Norwegian scientists, who have discovered an alien spaceship under the ice in Antarctica. Unearthing the body of one of the aliens, the team set about discovering what it is, until they find out it's still alive, can kill, and replicate human and animal form.
So far, so 1982 right? And that's the way it stays really. Pretty much the same stuff happens to them, that happened to Kurt Russell and company almost 30 years ago. There's some nice nods to the Carpenter film (which was a remake, of course) but that and the samey plot all tended to remind me of the superior movie.
Then, of course, there's the CGI. It's pretty bad. When a film released in 1982 can still top the special effects than one released in 2011, you know it's going to be bad. Some of it is horrendous, and really blunts some moments that had the potential to be quite good. Some models are used, and even they are worse!
A lot of time has been taken to recreate everything from the scene in Carpenter's film where the Norwegian camp is explored, that much is certain, and the film makers themselves refused to remake the 1982 version, likening it to "painting a mustache on the Mona Lisa", so I guess it all comes down to whether you want to know what happened beforehand, or would you rather just let your imagination do the work for you. I know I'd rather have left it all open, and I don't think there were any online petitions asking for these 'secrets' to be revealed somehow.
The very end of the film is very good though, and does segue perfectly into Carpenter's, even the iconic theme by Ennio Morricone plays, which is a very nice touch and is probably the best moment in the entire film because it works perfectly. You could easily put the 'original' on immediately after. If you had gotten anything else from the new movie, that is.
The performances are solid throughout, Winstead is fine, and Joel Edgerton is perfectly watchable as the helicopter pilot (American, obviously), but when it came to the Norwegian crew, they are all blatantly 'Thing fodder', except, of course, for the one who can't speak English. We all should know what happens to him.
In the end, The Thing is another in a long line of reboots or prequels or remakes no one asked for, and will soon be forgotten. And it didn't exactly do the business at the U.S. box office, which is just as well, because I can just imagine some bonehead cinema goer asking for a sequel.
**
Not the absolute disaster I was expecting, and with a very good ending, post credits. Other than that, you may as well put the 1982 classic on, and not worry about what happened at the Norwegian camp, we've all managed not knowing for 29 years!
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