Film Review: Superman III/Superman IV: The Quest For Peace

When it comes to reviewing films, some just don't need another rating. Take the original Superman film. It's an all time classic, and in my opinion the greatest super hero/comic book films ever. Nothing has ever matched it. But who needs yet another review telling you that? So I am skipping talking about the original here.

I am also skipping the second. So much has been said about the two different cuts. I actually watched the Richard Lester cut and the Richard Donner on consecutive evenings, with the films re-release on Blu Ray, and found the latter a much more coherent view. It's a shame it was never released back in 1980, it may have saved the franchise from where it was headed...

It had been about 5 or 6 years since I saw Superman's 3 and 4. In hindsight did the series just get worse and worse? Actually, not quite.

Superman III actually retained Richard Lester as director, but that doesn't help its cause. Seemingly more intent on 'wacky' slapstick humour (the entire opening sequence is fucking excruciating to watch, and I never swear in reviews) over what made the first (and to some extent) the second films what they were. Pratfalls such as people falling in holes, and cakes splatting in peoples faces just didn't even raise a smile.

Talking of not raising a smile, there was the decision to include Richard Pryor in the film. Now, I'm not someone who has seen any of his stand-up films, or any of his stuff with Gene Wilder, but this guy was meant to be a comedian right? Because, as Gus Gorman, the hard up computer expert that falls in with villain Ross Webster (a bored ridged looking Robert Vaughn) nothing he does is even slightly amusing. A scene where he is in the background on skis just mumbling bullshit to himself is probably the nadir of the entire film (and, by default the series.)

Allegedly due to vocally disapproving of the producers decision to fire Richard Donner, Margot Kidders screen time as Lois Lane is whittled down to less than five minutes, at the start and end of the film. It's a noticeable absence, although the Smallville storyline is a good idea.

As always, Christopher Reeve gives everything he has to the role, the guy was so committed in the face of everything around him being terrible, and typically he is the only good thing in the film. Playing 3 characters, Superman, Clark Kent and Evil Superman (created when Kryptonite and erm...tobacco tar are combined) he excels in all, and the Evil Superman stuff and climatic battle between him and Clark Kent is most entertaining scene in the movie, and is over too quickly and we are returned to the god-awful Pryor and his shameless mugging. Superman III is a travesty of a film.

But everyone seems to think that Superman IV: The Quest For Peace is the worst of the lot, but after the third installment it's actually an improvement. It's not brilliant, don't get me wrong but Gene Hackman is back as Lex Luthor (helped out of jail by his young nephew Lenny, played by Jon Cryer), the tone of the film is more serious and it actually deals with some pretty weighty issues - nuclear disarmament, the role of newspapers in world affairs and how what they print can affect peoples opinions, and Kidder has a proper role as Lois Lane again (and is part of one of the films highlights, the double date scene with Clark Kent and Superman.)

But, as I said it's not brilliant. After the films budget was cut in half, most of the exterior scenes were shot in Milton Keynes. And once you know that fact, you can notice. I swear I recognised a building in one scene.

The films running time (a very short for the series 90 minutes) was clearly the victim of severe editing, with the Luthors seemingly the victim of most of them. You can't help but think Hackman should have been in a lot more scenes, and if you consult the deleted scenes, you can see he was at one point.

Another negative is the villain, Nuclear Man (Mark Pillow, who never acted again after this), complete with huge mullet and dangerous long fingernails (afraid so), the whole character is quite the joke, and not in a Superman III way.

It's mostly quite a bizarre watch, what with the Milton Keynes factor, the shonky sets that seem to be have been done on the cheap also, and even little things like seeing Jim Broadbent play a French bad guy in a small role. It all seems quite surreal at times.

But none of the negatives in the film come close to matching the train wreck of III, and again Christopher Reeve put his all into his performance, and gives some great impassioned Superman speeches (Reeve himself actually came up with some of the story, so it was obviously close to his heart) but it would have been nice to see what would be his last appearance as The Man Of Steel be in a stronger film.

But, after the critical mauling and lack of box office interest, the Superman franchise disappeared, not to be seen again for 19 years...

Superman III
*
An absolute mess of a film, with needless slapstick 'comedy', terrible villains and the horrific decision to cast as seemingly coked up non actor as second lead. Superman III is not big, funny or clever, but scrapes one star for Christopher Reeve's multi-faceted performance.


Superman IV: The Quest For Peace
**
Nowhere near as bad as III, or as most people make out. Sure it's not brilliant, and at some moments it feels like a rather vivid hallucination, but it's a solid story, even if it's been hacked down in the editing suite. And again, it's all about Christopher Reeve as Superman that saves it.

Film Review: Green Lantern

Along with the likes of Thor, X-Men: First Class, and Captain America: The First Avenger, there seems to be a slew of super hero movies this Summer. So far, the results have been mixed, but here we have one from DC (as opposed to the ones listed, they are all based on Marvel comics.)

Ryan Reynolds stars as Hal Jordan, a cocky test pilot who is given the powers of the Green Lantern, a group of heroes from thousands of planets (or sectors) formed by The Guardians Of The Universe using an 'Emotional Spectrum of Willpower'. Each member assumes great power, mainly the power to will anything in their imagination into being.

Meanwhile Parallax, 'the ultimate being of fear' (voiced by Clancy Brown) has returned from an exile in a far off sector, and killed Hal's predecessor Abin Sur (Temuera Morrison) in the process, but not before Abin Sur sends his Green Lantern ring off to find a worthy replacement for him.

At the same time some of Parallax' DNA has wound up in Abin Surs corpse, so when scientist Hector Hammond comes to examine the body, he becomes infected with it, giving him telepathic and telekinetic powers.

As you may be able to tell, the plots a bit jumbled (I hate having to write origin stories for this kind of film, they can be utter gibberish sometimes.) And sadly, that reflects on screen too.

It's good fun when it's on. Reynolds is his usual charming and witty self as Hal Jordan. He truly makes the film interesting, and without him it would have been a lot less entertaining. Peter Sarsgaard is quite creepy and almost unrecognizable at first as Hector Hammond (and he gets really unrecognizable later), but there's quite a few superfluous characters such as Tim Robbin's dodgy senator Robert Hammond (father of Hector), and Hal's on again-off again love interest Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) who by no means drag the film down, but don't really add much to it. The love story almost feels like the film makers thought "Well, we better have one"...

But other than that, it's all entertaining enough. The action sequences are great, exactly what you'd expect from director Martin Campbell, the man who has twice now reinvigorated James Bond (In Goldeneye and Casino Royale), and the dialogue is snappy and witty and there is a great (if predictable) setup for a sequel after the first lot of credits, but once you've seen it, you've seen it. I have no real desire to go and watch it again, or pick it up on Blu Ray in a few months, but did enjoy it while it was on.

It's not an essential comic book film by any means, but it's a fun way to spend a couple of hours if you can get past the messy plot, you'll probably get something out of it.

***
A decent, if pretty forgettable super hero movie. Entertaining for it's duration, but don't go looking for a First Class movie, in both respects.

Clarence Clemons: RIP Big Man

Like many people, the first time I heard Clarence Clemons play saxophone was on Springsteen's breakthrough 'Born To Run' album, albeit with my first listen being many years after its release. In my opinion, no other set of songs established what an integral part he was of The E Street Band. And Bruce Springsteen knew it too, including him on the now famous cover, and immortalizing him in song on 'Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out'.

Clemons was everywhere on that album from the soaring opening to 'Thunder Road', through the title track and the aforementioned 'Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out' and most notably the epic sax solo in 'Jungleland'.

Of course Clemons had a huge input on other classic Springsteen records like 'Darkness On The Edge Of Town' (who can forget 'Badlands?'), 'The River' ('Ties That Bind' being an immediate go to point for Clemons) and 'Born In The U.S.A.' (the fantastic 'Bobby Jean'), not to mention 'The Rising', 'Magic' and 'Working On A Dream'.

In June 2009 I was lucky enough to see The E Street Band live at Hyde Park in London. No one else I knew was that much of a Springsteen nut to pay the extortionate amount I had for tickets on eBay (they had sold out weeks prior), but it was a show I couldn't miss, and it turned out to be the best gig I have ever attended, and Clarence Clemons  had a lot to do with that.

The Band played 'Badland' as their second song, and the eruption from the crowd for Clemons solo was something I'll never forget. Likewise, the absolute silence that descended on Hyde Park during 'Jungleland' was something I've never experienced before, and doubt I ever will again.

Moments like that are just like Clarence Clemons. One of a kind. RIP Big Man.

Film Review: Jonah Hex

Recently, I've made it my mission to trawl through as many films that have come out in the last few years to see if they are as bad as all reviews seem to make out. So far, I've had to agree with them, but I live in hope that I find something I really dig. Jonah Hex is not that film.

Quite how this film can go wrong is astounding. The cast includes Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Michael Fassbender, Michael Shannon, Will Arnett, Wes Bentley and Lance Reddick, it's written by Crank directors Neveldine/Taylor, no stranger to massive action, and hell Mastodon supply the soundtrack!

The plot, such as it is, concerns Jonah Hex (Brolin), a scarred bounty hunter in the Wild West asked by the President to stop terrorists (led by Quentin Turnbull, John Malkovich) from unleashing a weapon of mass destruction (turns out they existed back then, too.) Shoehorned into all this is sassy hooker Lilah (Megan Fox, pouting a lot.)

And you'd think Megan Fox would be one of the problems in the film, but she's not required to do that much, no the problem lies squarely with the plot. It's all over the place. And I mean, there were points where I had no clue what was going on it was such a jumble.

The film, not including opening and closing credits is an hour and ten minutes. No joke, and it really shows. The whole story is rushed through so quickly that you will be left dizzy. Whose decision it was for this film to have such a short running time it was, I don't know.

The first ten minutes are decent enough too, that's why it's annoying. The film had potential, just a look at the cast shows you that, but then it goes full throttle, not slowing down for anything. Sometimes a good thing in a film, but when it doesn't even slow down for plot, you know you're in trouble.

Most of the starry cast (with the obvious exception of Brolin) are severely underused. Boardwalk Empire's Michael Shannon a prime example. I didn't even notice he was in the film until the final credits rolled. Lance Reddick (who viewers of The Wire, Fringe and Lost will know well) has 1 scene and his character is done with, save for a few cut backs near the end, and after his two scenes near the start, I actually forgot Will Arnett was in the film! So many great actors wasted.

And what must have these actors have been thinking? The only explanation I can think of is that they thought they were getting the start and end of the script, and the massive chunk in the middle would be ready soon. And this film desperately needed a chunk in the middle just so it could slow things down and get some pace going. Even 'extending' the film to 90 minutes would have helped!

And even with the films hurtling running time, we still get treated to the events that started the film about 3 times! Quentin Turnbull was responsible for burning Jonah Hex's face and the death of his family, we get it. Obviously not, as that point is rammed home at the films climax, in case we had forgotten.

It doesn't help that this is director Jimmy Hayward's first live action feature. A former Pixar animator, he then directed Horton Hears A Who. And the transition from animation to live action was not very smooth either. It's pretty much a disaster.

But it's not an unmitigated disaster. There is the odd plus point. As I said, the first ten minutes showed real promise, there are some cool weapons on display, and Mastodon provided a good soundtrack but it's not enough really. This is just a huge failure, when it really shouldn't have been.

*
A film that should have been watchable, given to a director who had never helmed a live action film before, and then having it's entire plot crammed into just over an hour. A giant waste of talent and time.

Film Review: Buried

A film that took me a while to watch, Buried seemed to polarize opinion with everyone I knew that watched it. They either loved it or hated it. Usually for the same reasons - it was just one guy, it was all set in the same place...but now I've finally watched it I seem to be the only person I know who sort of sits in the middle.

Ryan Reynolds stars as Paul Conroy, a U.S. truck driver working in Iraq, transporting supplies. His convoy is attacked by a group of Iraqis and he wakes up to find himself in a coffin, buried alive.

That's pretty much the premise, without revealing too much that happens along the way. While the plot is straight forward there are many entertaining twists and turns along the way to keep it just being a guy in a box for 90 minutes. There's a lot going on.

Reynolds is great as Conroy and really puts you in his shoes, switching between blind panic and reasoning as the film goes on. It must have been quite the ordeal to get through a shoot in those circumstances, which is a good a time as any to bring up this safety warning - if you are in any way claustrophobic, I'd give Buried a miss, it just gets worse and worse as it goes on.

Reynolds is the only character in the film you see, but there's a few guest stars making 'voice' appearances such as Samantha Mathis and Stephen Tobolowsky (whose voice I actually recognised, sadly enough!) as Conroy's wife and a figure from his company respectively.

But for all it's good points, it's hardly the jaw dropping phenomenon people would have you believe. There are limitations the film sets itself with it's premise. You can only go so far with it. And it's all entertaining enough, but I wasn't left astounded. And it's not the most original of ideas either, this kind of thing has been done before (albeit not to the scale of having it just be a one actor scenario - I may be wrong there, let me know.)

Buried was one of those films, I enjoyed while it was on, but didn't see what all the fuss was about (A bit like The Hangover in a way), but at the same time didn't think it deserved the bile spat at it from some people. Well worth checking out to see what side of the fence you sit on, or like me, if you sit on top of it.

***
An OK film, not deserving of the praise or the slatings it received when it was released. Reynolds is great, there's some entertaining plot developments but once it's done...it's done.

Film Review: Repossessed

Whilst recently reviewing 'The Last Exorcism', I drew a complete blank as to other exorcism films that weren't  'The Exorcist'. A quick trip to Wikipedia reminded me that somewhere in the middle of the Naked Gun series of films, Leslie Nielsen had done an exorcism spoof movie called Repossessed.

Seeing as it was made in 1990, long before the spoof movie bubble burst with turgid garbage like the Scary Movie films, then defecated upon with the likes of Superhero Movie and Epic Movie (sorts of films that lost any sense of parody, instead just having people dress up as characters from other films and do 'wacky' stuff, they even parodied comedy films, surely self-defeating), I thought it would be relatively 'safe' to try out Repossessed. Boy, was I wrong.

Warning signs should have come in the form of writer/director Bob Logan, whose dubious CV mainly includes  Meatballs 4, and cartoon versions of Dennis (not that one) and Ghost Busters (not those ones either). This is just as bad as that all sounds.

For what it's worth the plot of Repossessed concerns Nancy Aglet (Linda Blair, who was of course the child star of The Exorcist, and must have had a nice chunk of change thrown at her to do this), who after being possessed by Satan as a child, becomes repossessed after Satan comes out of her TV. Upon getting wind of this, sleazy TV evangelist Ernest Weller (Ned Beatty) and his wife Fanny Ray (Lana Schwab) decide it will be a great idea to perform a televised exorcism. Young priest Luke Brophy (Anthony Starke) must persuade the priest who performed Nancy's first exorcism, Father Jebediah Mayii (Leslie Nielsen) to come out of retirement to save her soul once more...

Apart from the mannerisms and the scant funny lines that Leslie Nielsen has, this film is total garbage. Most of the jokes don't hit the mark at all (and a good chunk of them are instantly dated, Sean Penn punching reporters, Pee Wee Herman, etc.), and the rest make little sense (I know these sorts of films are supposed to be random, but why are two wrestling commentators announcing an exorcism all of a sudden?) it's just a horrific mess that can't even keep continuity going, at one point bringing back a characters pet that had been killed about 30 minutes earlier!

And not forgetting the fact that The Exorcist came out in 1973. Did the world really need a spoof of a (at the time) 17 year old movie? The answer was no, Repossessed didn't even get a nationwide release and only raked in a little over a million dollars, and pretty much vanished without a trace. And deservedly so.

Marketed like a Naked Gun film at times (several posters are exact replicas of the original Naked Gun poster, except with Nielsen holding and standing on a crucifix instead of a gun and a bullet), this is nowhere in those films league and even makes tat like Spy Hard seem like comedy masterpieces. A film totally unworthy of Nielsen's talents.

*
Dreadful stuff. Not the fault of Leslie Nielsen, he tries his best but has barely anything resembling comedy to work with. You probably would get more laughs out of the film it was spoofing. Avoid!

Film Review: The A-Team

I grew up watching The A-Team, that's something I should get out of the way first. Every Saturday afternoon (or early evening, it's been a while) we'd sit and watch the crazy adventures of Hannibal, Faceman, Murdoch and B.A. It had the same tried and tested formula. Someone was in trouble, so they called the A-Team. Hannibal came up with the plan, Face tried to get out of any fights, whilst trying to get in the pants of whatever female character was in the show that week, B.A. beat people up and welded, whilst Murdoch acted a prat all episode. This happened every week and the show was brilliant for it.

It seems like from when the show ended there was talk of a movie. In the mid-nineties producer Stephen J. Cannell wanted to use the Gulf War as a backdrop for the film, but it bounced around in development hell for years. At one point John Singleton (Boyz N The Hood) was attached to direct, but he dropped out in 2008 and in the end it ended up on the lap of Joe Carnahan, who had recently proved himself in the field of madcap action with Smokin' Aces.

But all this trouble the film had getting off the ground proves one thing. It should have been left alone. Without a doubt The A-Team is a product of its time. It was truly an 80s show and any attempt to put it in a contemporary setting would surely be pointless. Correct there.

In the movie version of The A-Team we still have the main team of Hannibal (Liam Neeson), Face (Bradley Cooper), Murdoch (Sharlto Copley) and B.A. (former UFC champion Quinton Jackson) and we get to see the crime they did not commit, and how they bust out of military prisons to get payback. The A-Team: Origins if you will.

Only this resembles the A-Team in name only. Copley is probably the most accurate as Murdoch, whilst not touching how nuts the original was. Liam Neeson is OK as Murdoch, Face is portrayed as some sort of huge action hero, when the original is a bit gutless to boot, and B.A.? Couldn't be further removed. This is not The A-Team. There's too much swearing, it takes itself way too seriously at times, and most importantly - people die!

The only thing that is reminiscent of the show is that the action scenes are incredibly stupid, albeit on a bigger scale than turning a car into a tank (try a tank on a parachute). And there is a nice set up for a sequel at the end, with a special guest cameo.

Even without comparing the film to the show, it's still a below average action film, and is left standing by stuff like The Losers (another ensemble action movie that came out in 2010 as well). Apart from the A-Team themselves, the supporting cast are pretty dreadful. A cardboard cut-out would have done a better job than Patrick Wilson as Lynch, and the less said about Jessica Biel the better. The only decent appearances were cameos from Dirk Benedict and Dwight Schultz. Mr. T must have read the script, I'm assuming.

It just goes to prove it. It happened with the Knight Rider reboot show, and it's happened here. These shows were special. They had a charm and quality that can never be duplicated, but I'm sure we will have not heard the last of idea-deprived film and TV studios trying.

*1/2
A bit of madcap action aside, this is both a pretty dull action film, and a worthless attempt to try and reboot something that should be well alone. Pity the fools.