Film Review: The Rookie (1990)

After Mel Gibson's spectacular fall from grace, I left it a while before putting one of his films on. Then, one evening I felt like watching the original Lethal Weapon and couldn't finish it. The fact Gibson is playing quite an unhinged character coupled with his very public breakdown, I felt like the scene where he puts the gun in his mouth was real life B-roll.

The same sort of trepidation started to wave over me as it drew time to watch The Rookie. Regular readers may remember I purchased the Clint Eastwood '35 Years 35 Films' boxset Warner put out last year and am still making my way through that, one movie a week (I even plan to watch The Bridges Of Madison County, but may need some female company for that one), but the point is The Rookie also stars Charlie Sheen.

You don't need me to tell you about what has been going on with this guy the last few months. Probably the most out there, and again, public breakdown ever witnessed. I flit between loving the stuff he comes out with and being genuinely disturbed about what the guy is going through, and the fact it's in front of the entire world.

But to the film, and the presence of Sheen does not affect the film in any way now. Perhaps if it was about a drug addict who discovered the internet, things may be different.

The Rookie is perhaps one of the most predictable, generic buddy cop action films I have ever laid my eyes on. Clint Eastwood plays grizzled, veteran cop Harry Calla...sorry, I mean Nick Pulovski, who is intent on revenge after the murder of his old partner (who, in fairness, says nothing about any kind of impending retirement, but you know he's thinking it) and is partnered with straight laced rookie David Ackerman (Sheen), and together they go after the sociopathic German (Raul Julia, and it took me over an hour to figure out he was doing a German accent) who was responsible for the cop killing.

Change the names, maybe the location and it's the plot for about 300 other movies. The film almost has a checklist of cliches to tick off. We've had the murdered partner, there's the overcoming the odds to become a better person, the big bar fight, the insane car chase, the list goes on. There is the odd difference to the cookie cutter mold - the love interest of Raul Julia (Sonia Braga, also trying to be German, failing) is quite unhinged as we find out in one scene that is in amazing poor taste.

But for all this negativity, The Rookie is surprisingly watchable and it must be down to the cast. Eastwood (who also directs, which is strange considering how removed this is from stuff like Bird, Unforgiven etc.) speaks for himself, he is still one of the coolest actors to walk the planet. Have him in a film, and at least you have THAT. Sheen. I have always dug him as an actor, and he is fine in this. Raul Julia as the bad guy is as you'd expect (though not as bad as Street Fighter obviously), and you have smaller roles for Tom Skerrit and Xander Berkeley. The fact it's a strong cast almost makes the whole exercise forgivable.

Maybe it's all part of Clint's master plan. Make a film in every genre possible, after all he is eying a musical next! And this was the 'Cop Buddy Movie' entry in his filmography. And somehow, just somehow...it works.

***

Possibly the least original film I have watched in ages, but the stellar cast make something that is quite predictable just as watchable.

Nicolascagelback

As it normally does, my mind wandered to all things Nicolas Cage earlier. I had looked back at my review of Drive Angry on here and noticed that I had mentioned that Cage resembled Nickelback frontman Chad Kroeger. I had forgot I had mentioned that (to be honest, I had forgotten I had reviewed the film), and had only mentioned the similarity to a friend on Facebook again the other day. Have a look - Cage in Drive Angry...

Chad Kroeger in life....

But it's not even a recent development. Again - Cage:

And Kroeger:

Who is copying who here! Disturbingly inconclusive as Cage looked like Kroeger in Con Air, a film released before anyone even heard of Nickelback. I, for one, am scared.

Shooting Fish

It's the easiest thing in the world to do. It's almost one of the most fun. That's right, I'm talking about judging people. And what better place to look for people to judge than on Facebook? About a year and a half ago, I did a blog mentioning Facebook groups demanding that Top Gear (the show that was under no threat of being cancelled) on the air, and that glorious chestnut - keep Facebook free. I thought it was high time to revisit these groups, and look at some others.

Sadly, I was unable to find the 'Keep Facebook Free' group I tore apart last time, but instead found 'Keep ~facebook~ free!!! ...Not 4 dollars a month'. Created by an anonymous idiot, this is actually listed on the site under local businesses. But lets have a look at some of the input from the final people of the world.

Cami Juskowiak (who appears to be a baby that has the ability to type) starts us off: "i will never pay 4 fb i will go back to myspace or my year book this is bs get us hooked then charge what a bunch of crap"

I am slightly in love with the mental image of Cami shutting her computer down, and just plunging into her old high school yearbook, weeping to herself. As for MySpace, I doubt she knows any of the 6 people that still use the site.

It seems that Joan Smith has some Dalai Lama-esque view of the group, or has just stumbled upon it by complete accident and has no earthly idea what she is typing: "Life is what you make it...go for it...you don't get a second chance and this is not a dress rehearsal"

And finally, it's always helpful to have a mathematician in these groups. Sadly, this doesn't so we have to make do with Chris Hardy, who must have pawed this in on his iphone whilst being distracted by some flashing lights or something: "Slot of people are going to drop fb when this hapens . I'd like to see the before and after numbers I bet 3/4 fb population drop"

And what of Top Gear? It wasn't going anywhere 18 months ago, and to the surprise of no one, it continues. The next season starts on the BBC in June apparently. Try telling that to the 42,824 absolute planks on the 'Petition to Save Top Gear' group. I was always under the impression that a petition involved signing your name, and I doubt a lot of these people know how to write, so that may pose a problem. Anyway here are some gems from the group.

The...uniquely named Grace Glue will kill herself if Top Gear was cancelled:"Its the only thing I watch on television, I have watched every episode made. I love it, if it ends, my life will end." Firstly, Top Gear has been running in one incarnation since 1977, so I doubt she has seen EVERY episode. I think if Top Gear ever did get cancelled, we should track her down and remind her of what she said. "Go on then Grace, end it now". To be honest, this country is so fucked up, someone probably would top themselves if they cancelled Eastenders. It would be nice if everyone who watched Eastenders did though.

Lisa Petersen can't take the same bad news twice: "They can't possibly be rid of the best show since Ballykissangel!!"

Mark Butterworth seems to be in a state of shock about the (fictitious) news, so much so he says almost exactly the same thing twice: "What kind of asshole tries to cancle top gear, must have mental health issues lol I still cant beleave some asshole wants to cancle top gear, idiots" It's like it took all he had just to type the first part up till "lol", had to go lie down due to the stress, then returned later still angry about the whole thing.

This next guy at least saves me the bother of introducing him: "John from Christchurch New Zealand. Unbelieveable that I could ever be without the 3 rushkateers. Dont be bloody stupid BBC. These are a world wide and reknowned institution, with hydraulic fluid, diesel, petrol rushing thru their veins. We get the rush also at least once a week here. Its the non PC approach that has the edge over other Television. Extreme viewing, nobody dies, no-one has been murdered, no-one has done evil against fellow-man. Plain honest truth and opinion. Need more. Yes. Stay with these guys BBC-or be DAMMED ! ! !" Two things strike me about this. One, of course, is that John has way too much time on his hands. The second is, what the hell kind of TV do they have in New Zealand? Top Gear shouldn't be cancelled because "no-one has been murdered"? I was unaware of the popularity of snuff in that country. By this standard you could keep any old shit on the television "Yeah, The X Factor is awful, but no one has been murdered!" No, just countless songs.

Finally, Kyle Morgan seems to think that any possible cancellation would be the fault of the Mexican government, and ends up unintentionally riffing on that old Ferrero Rocher advert (but in a really small minded, racist way): "The mexican ambasador can go suck his dick, leave top gear alone you fat lazy greasy smelly ugly unreliable worthless couch potato that probably can't even see your own dick and spends your worthless life eating horrible food and sleeping until you wait for your inevitable death by a heart attack on the toilet." If that is how Kyle thinks about a TV show, I wonder what he must think about, you know, important things.

To wrap up, I thought I would have a look for groups talking about the AV referendum. Personally, I have just got my head round what it actually means (it's harder than Chinese algebra) and have yet to make a decision. Just looking for groups is fairly amusing, there is one (albeit small) called 'I May Vote Yes To AV In The Referendum, But It Won't Be My First Choice.' Can see what they were trying to do, I think, but it just sounds as if they have no spine and are doing what one of these unhelpful leaflets that drop through the door are telling them to do.

Like a child who wants something different the second they have something new, I am forgoing looking for AV thickos, instead going to the idiot goldmine. THE ROYAL WEDDING. If you have been living under a rock, then lucky you. Two snobbish, privileged cunts are getting married, and we are all footing the bill. In return we get a day off to watch them get married, and have been told in the media to have parties to celebrate how in love and rich and fucking great they think they are.

The immediate best group is called 'I Was Alive When Will and Kate Got Married'. I would be very concerned if I found a group called 'I wasn't alive when Will and Kate Got Married', meaning either the zombie invasion had started or scum parents have somehow found a way to get smartphones to their unborn children.

But I found the group 'Prince William and Kate' who seem to flit between pretending they are Prince William and Kate (first post: "Thank you all") or some stodgy, greying tour guide, reciting dull as dishwater facts about the big day:"Prince William will not wear a wedding ring, but his new wife's will be made from gold given to the prince by the Queen. According to tradition, the Welsh gold for royal rings comes from the Clogau St David's mine at Bontddu in North Wales." Nice to see they are going for a cheap option. I guess anyone would if they were getting a free wedding.

Marina Siddiq hasn't heard of video streaming: "Respected, Prince William and Dearest Princess Kate! I'm very happy for your wedding, i wish to see your wedding but i know its impossible! any ways, GOD BLESS YOU BOTH WITH LOTS OF HAPPINESS! Aameen. With lots of prayers and wishes, Marina from Pakistan!" Of course, she could be blind.

The brilliantly named Benedictus Andang popped in to offer his "CONCREGULATIONS" which was really nice of him, I thought.

"Prince William and Kate, may next Sunday be the most glorious day of your lives. The union of which the two of you become one will go down in history are one of the most precedent event. It will bring peace to the whole world for just a day, because the whole world is on the edge of their seats waiting for just this event." Laura Weideman is wrong for a few reasons. It won't bring peace to the world for five seconds, I doubt the Israelis and Palestinians are going to sit down together with a box of hankies and a tub of Haagen Daaz to watch. And the only reason the whole world would be on the edge of their seats is if there was a terrorist attack. Just saying. Also, Laura is going to be pissed to find out the wedding is on Friday, not Sunday.

And finally, Geronamo Antonio Piana has this to say: "William and Kate, when, in view of the world, make your contract of love and union, you do the reasonable act that exists today, to go down in the history indelibly, if you proclaim the renunciation to the throne monarchical, of divine election, forever." I think that means he wants to see them fuck on live TV.

And there is countless references to Diana, the 'Peoples Princess' (I always preferred the nickname 'Whore With A Heart Of Gold') who will be looking down on the ceremony from Heaven. Only not, because there's no such place. If there was maybe they could send the £10,000,000 this farce is going to cost fluttering down from the clouds.

Till the next time I feel like a moan.

Film Review: Black Dynamite

A spot on parody of 70s Blaxploitation films such as Shaft and Super Fly and stars Michael Jai White as the titular Black Dynamite - Kung Fu master and all around ladies man.

The plot, such as it is, concerns the killing of Black Dynamite's brother Jimmy then leads off into various plots concerning orphans on smack and whiskey that reduces penis size.

The film is a never ending set of jokes about the genre and nails each one perfectly. Not to spoil any of them but you will need to keep an keen eye on the screen as lines are fluffed, equipment gets in the way, action sequences are bodged and the most blatant example of (fake) product placement is revealed.

And the climactic fight (after a trip to Kung Fu Island that is) has to be seen to be believed.

Black Dynamite is an absolute blast and Jai White and the rest of the cast do the best thing they can in this kind of environment - play it totally straight.

Curiously it's taken since 2009 for the film to hit these shores and only is being released on DVD. But when the film is supposed to look like it was made in the 70s...is there any point in Blu-Ray sprucing it up?

****

A spoof film that is smart AND funny? You better believe it sucka! The best example of it's kind since Airplane. Dig it?

Film Review: Every Which Way But Loose

I went into Every Which Way But Loose with a kind of youthful exuberance. I remember it from when I was a kid and it was on TV. Clint Eastwood was in it, he had an orangutan, there was a catchy title song - brilliant!

So it came up next as my next Eastwood film (I bought the Warner Brothers 35 Years 35 Films boxset at the start of December and have been watching one a week) I was quite looking forward to it, for what it was. Harmless family fun.

How wrong I was. This is a spoiler strewn run through of what happened in it.

Clint Eastwood plays Philo Beddoe who drives trucks and does bare knuckle fighting for money. His Mum needs to pass her driving test but doesn't like her glasses. He has a friend Orville too. And Clyde the orangutan who he won in a fight against four people. So the film starts and he already has Clyde.

One evening Philo is down the local bar and falls for a girl - Lynn Halsey-Taylor (played by then Eastwood partner Sondra Locke) who is singing in a country band. He buys her a drink and a romance blossoms.

Meanwhile some bikers throw a fag end at Clyde and Philo chases them. Angering the biker gang they are part of. Philo also starts a bar brawl and two of the people he punches are cops.

Clyde drives a vehicle a bit.

Then Lynn vanishes from the scene leaving Philo a short note saying sorry and goodbye. So he decides to track her down and follow her. At the same time the biker gang decide to follow Philo as he leaves to find Lynn. The cops from the bar fight decide to take some leave so they can go and kill Philo. Kill him.

So everyone is off looking for Lynn or Philo. Obviously the latter takes Clyde and Orville who pulls a girl working at a fruit stand even though he told someone she has the clap.

Oh yeah there is quite a few sexual references and swearing in this family romp.

Meanwhile we go back to Lynn time and again, and each time she is being chatted up by a bloke, and then they buy her a drink with the strong implication sex will follow. So you start to think - "Is she a hooker then? Because she mentioned a bloke she is 'with'" but then you remember she was with Philo and he would have noticed. So she likes sex with strangers, and has a really bad attitude.

The biker gang fail repeatedly to kill Philo, as do the off duty cops. Clyde flips them off a few times.

Philo finally tracks her down and they have sex. No money changes hands.

About the same time and in between more bare knuckle fights (Philo is looking to fight the bare knuckle champ Tank Murdock soon) time is found for our hero to break into a zoo with Clyde so he can get his monkey end away.

Anyway Lynn vanishes again and Philo sets about tracking her down which he eventually does and catches her kissing another (different) bloke. He confronts her. She starts going mental. Then a guy in a pimp suit turns up - she was the bloke she was with! He is totally dressed as a pimp! What is going on? Is she a goodwill hooker? Has Philo forgotten she is actually a prostitute? Neither it seems, she carries on losing it. Starts crying. Hitting Philio, bloodying his nose. She collapses into a heap at his feet, still crying.

We cut to the climatic fight with Tank Murdock. Who sadly looks like a fat nonce. Philo kicks the hell out of him, then for reasons that are never explained, decides to lose and goes down in one punch.

Then Philo, Orville, Orville's girlfriend and Clyde go home. End titles.

WUT?

We never find out what happened about either situation! It was totally messed up. It was like David Lynch directed it at times. Just made no sense. And the title! It was like they wrote a song and decided to do a film of it. Only not.

Anyway there is a sequel 'Any Which Way You Can' and Lynn is in the cast, and is referred to as Philo's "Gal" on the blurb! How did that happen exactly? Because if a girl starts crying and hitting, and finally has a totally has a nervous breakdown at my feet - WHILE HER PSEUDO PIMP WATCHES...I kinda cut my losses. Plenty more fish and all that.

Anyway director James Fargo went on to direct the equally baffling Chuck Norris film 'Forced Vengeance' (although that is my favourite Chuck film for personal reasons) and Clint somehow managed to emerge with his career and dignity intact.

No chance they will ever remake it though.

***

One of those films that you are baffled at every stage of the way. Nothing makes any sense, the apes hardly in it really considering he was the selling point and just features a really messed up romantic storyline which gets a bit awkward to watch by the end. Why 3 stars? I've been thinking about it all day and I'd watch it again. Plus I have the bloody song stuck in my head.

Film Review: Hatchet II

The first Hatchet film was an absolute blast. I originally watched it as it featured Robert Englund (Freddy), Kane Hodder (Jason) and Tony Todd all in the same film but found a film that was fresh, funny, gore -packed and (this is a first for horror films it seems) had a cast you liked and didn't really want to see killed off.

Hatchet 2 continues the story of Victor Crowley (Hodder) who was accidentally killed by his father (Hodder sans makeup) whilst 3 kids burnt his house down. Now Crowley stalks the swampland picking off whoever dares to cross his path with his handy array of tools (namely the titular Hatchet).

So almost five years later here is Hatchet 2 and it starts exactly where the last left of. To the second, so you really have to watch the original to get a good understanding although there is a good portion near the start given over to the MacGuffin.

The cast again resembles a horror movie convention - Tony Todd gets a much expanded role, Kane Hodder appears in two different roles again but this time we are joined by Tom Holland (Director of Child's Play and Fright Night), R.A. Mihailoff (Leatherface in the third Texas Chainsaw Massacre film), and makeup legend John Carl Buechler.

The first half of the film is the problem sadly. Once we get out of the swamp and back to New Orleans we, as mentioned, get told the whole back story again, then meet the new lambs to the slaughter. Again due to the film taking a while to get going the new characters don't have enough time to develop as last time, and the hilarious script has to take a back seat (there are still some great lines though) in order to get the plot and our cast back to the swamp land.

But when we get there the film is an absolute joy. The kills flow fast and still manage to be original, and like the original there is no cutaways, no MTV style editing just old school American horror.

I'm not going to spoil any of the ways the cast are despatched here but suffice it to say that Victor Crowley got a B&Q gift voucher for Christmas.

It would be interesting to see if a third Hatchet film happens as it was made painfully clear during the film that you can never really kill Crowley (that doesn't stop them trying though) but personally I'd like to see what else writer/director Adam Green can do in the horror genre.

***1/5

A tiny step down from the original, lacking its likeable cast and humour somewhat but when the kills start they don't stop. A worthy sequel.

TV Review: Freddy's Nightmares

And you thought Nightmare On Elm Street was just a film franchise! You are all sadly mistaken.

While watching the superb 'Never Sleep Again' Elm Street documentary I was reminded that in the late 80s a TV show surfaced called Freddy's Nightmares. While the show was quickly glossed over on the documentary I thought I would have a look at the first three episodes.

The show is kind of like Tales From The Crypt, with Freddy (Robert Englund) popping up now and again throughout the episode. As I discovered this was purely to try and keep the viewer interested. All the stories are set in Freddy's old stomping ground of Springwood of course.

The first episode 'No More Mr. Nice Guy' actually is a Freddy episode and tells the story of how Freddy was burnt by the angry mob of Springwood parents. This part of the show is dealt with pretty quickly and then moves on to what becomes the basis of the show - a character being involved in a 'nightmare' scenario. In this case the police officer who set Freddy alight (Ian Patrick Williams) starts having nightmares after it happens which leads to a climatic nightmare in a dentist. Even with Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Poltergeist director Tobe Hooper at the helm the whole thing is just totally amateurish, with terrible acting (and yes I am taking into account the acting in the Elm Street films saying that) but it does effectively tell the story so you do have a bit of the Elm Street mythology attached.

Not so for second episode 'It's A Miserable Life'. The plot revolves around Bryan (John Cameron Mitchell) who while doing a graveyeard shift at his Dads burger bar is the victim of a drive by shooting. The first half of the episode revolves around his bizarre nightmares before he dies, then the second half is devoted to the nightmares of his girlfriend Karyn (Lar Park-Lincoln from Friday the 13th Part VII and House II) as she is also shot. Not entirely clear if her character dies, but Freddy seems to have something to do with it. He is dressed up as a surgeon for his brief appearances. It's pretty bad. Direction by Tom McLoughlin who directed Friday the 13th Part VI.

Things actually take a step up in the third and final episode 'Killer Instinct' which involves a high school runner (Lori Petty) who comes into the possession of a magical talisman that when she look into it and imagines something happening...it happens. Yeah, its absolute garbage but is quite entertaining with a bit of gore (severely lacking from the previous episodes), a funny decapitation and a OTT cameo from New Line Cinema boss Robert Shaye. Sadly it all falls apart by the end, which really doesn't make much sense at all.

Freddy's Nightmares somehow managed to run for 2 seasons with over 40 episodes being shown before the plug was pulled (Hell, even Brad Pitt turned up in one) but you can see why they only ever put 3 out on DVD - almost a warning.

**

Mostly dreadful stuff, but the extra star is adding that bit of back story to the Freddy mythology and the entertaining moments in episode three. One for die hard Freddy Fans only though.

Film Review: The Fighter

Another film gunning at a big selection at this years Oscars is The Fighter. Like the titular character it's quite the underdog but I wouldn't be surprised if we get an upset victory or two...

The Fighter tells the true story of Micky Ward (Mark Wahlberg) - an up and coming boxer trained by his brother Dicky Eklund (Christian Bale) - a once shining star in the boxing world after once knocking down Sugar Ray Leonard.

Eklund is totally strung out on crack and is being filmed by an HBO team for a documentary on 'his comeback', or more accurately drug addiction. Ward is also helped by his slightly pushy mother Alice (Melissa Leo).

The Fighter is absolutely superb, with great performances from the entire cast - especially Bale who gives one of the turns of his career as Dicky. Leo is also brilliant as Alice, as is Amy Adams as Micky's girlfriend Charlene.

There are many themes similar to Oscar here - boxing, real life, inspirational but it's not an easy road we are taken on by director David O. Russell (Three Kings). The family dynamic is incredibly dysfunctional - the drug addict brother, the selfish mother and the slightly mad 7 sisters, the kind of darkness at times is reminiscent of a Darren Aronofsky piece (which isn't surprising as he executive produces).

Another great performance is from Wahlberg in the lead role. People seem to forget what a brilliant actor he can be. He may pick some dodgy films from time like The Happening but his turns in The Departed, The Lovely Bones and now The Fighter have all been award worthy and he was totally overlooked this time.

The fight sequences are superb, and like all great boxing films you will be on the edge your seat for the final bout.

Highly recommended.

*****

A truly superb film with amazing performances from the whole cast, especially Christian Bale who must be a lock for Best Supporting Actor for his crazed turn as Dicky. Emotional, heart warming and dark. I wasn't believing this when I saw the posters but this really is the best boxing film since Rocky Balboa's prime!

Film Review: The Karate Kid (2010)

On first hearing about a remake of 1984's The Karate Kid - a film I grew up watching and loved I was filled with hostility. Hostility and rage. So I never bothered with it at the cinema.

Then, very slowly I started to hear one good thing after another about it from people. So after seeing it for cheap in Morrison's I decided to take the plunge...

Let's get one thing straight from the outset: this is NOT a remake. It's just a film with a few similar themes in really. It does get a bit reminiscent of the original near the end but for the most part they are two very separate entities (There are several nods to the original - notably a very amusing twist on catching the fly with the chopsticks).

The story concerns Dre Parker (Jaden 'Son Of Will' Smith) who, along with his mother (Taraji P. Henson) have to move to China. Once there Dre has trouble fitting in at school and is bullied by the other kids. Like bullied with kung fu bullied.

Dre befriends apartment building handyman Mr. Han (Jackie Chan) and after he saves Dre during a run-in with the bullies, he starts teaching him kung fu.

That is another big difference in the film. The title Karate Kid is quite pointless as it's actually Kung Fu throughout. That point is actually mentioned in the film, but Karate Kid rolls off the tongue better than Kung Fu Kid with it's alliteration and that.

So Dre winds up in a tournament, falls for a local girl and does loads of cool looking training which all leads up to the big competition.

So here is what I was not expecting - the film is great. Jaden Smith is one of the more likeable child actors at the moment and Jackie Chan is superb. The scene where we discover some of Han's backstory really shows what a great actor he is. Something we rarely get to see.

Another worry I had was the length of it - 2 hours 10 minutes! But it is incredibly well paced - it's almost an hour before we hit any training exercises but it certainly doesn't feel like it.

As it is a Karate Kid film you get all the epic training montages and the big tournament at the end and it's all as exciting and as the original. Something I thought I'd never say!

****

A surpisingly good film. With only a few similarities to the original to speak of this is truly a film that stands on it's own.

Film Review: Visiting Hours

The first in an ongoing series of reviews of 80s horror films, my first is a look at 1982 'slasher' film Visiting Hours. A film whcih briefly appeared on the infamous 'Video Nasty' list in this country.

Lee Grant plays Deborah Ballin a controversial TV host who defends the rights of battered women - one in particular who killed her husband in self defence. This attracts the very unwanted attention of Colt Hawker (Michael Ironside) who attacks Ballin in her home. Not getting the job done, Hawker follows her to the hospital where she is staying to finish the job.

At times Visiting Hours rises above the usual mindless slasher fare of the time. But every time it starts to make headway, it shoots itself in the foot - the question of self defence with abusive husbands is skated around briefly several times in the film but it is never addressed properly, Colt Hawker is given a back story to explain his deranged ways but it never gets past much more than his Mum through a pan of chip fat at his Dad's face once.

William Shatner also appears in a much smaller appearance than any advertising for the film makes out as Ballin's producer. Again the film does it again - it's never stated what his character is to Ballin. A producer? A lover?

On the plus side Ironside is extremely creepy as the serial killer, it's just a shame he isn't in a better, or more well written, film.

As for being a Video Nasty? Like films like The Exorcist you have a hard time seeing why in this day and age.

**

A unsettling performance from Michael Ironside beside, this reeks of wasted opportunities from start to finish.

Film Review: Return To Sleepaway Camp

The original Sleepaway Camp films hold a special place in my heart. The first was your usual mildly entertaining Friday the 13th style 'Kids being picked off at a Summer camp' generic 80's horror till the ending. An ending so out there I still shake my head in amazement.

The sequels (Unhappy Campers and Teenage Wasteland respectively) were way before their time. Smarter than anything similar and laden with in-jokes they were almost a test balloon for the Scream films that would follow just under a decade later.

So fast forward in 2008 and original writer/director Robert Hiltzik decides to get the band back together for a film that will disregard the two sequels. Sadly something is sorely missing...

I can see what he was trying to do (which is quite annoying) but something just does not translate. The whole thing does still have an 80's vibe to it but something doesn't gel. This is compounded with the casting of Michael Gibney as Alan - the 'Angela' role of the original.

The problem is when Angela was bullied back in 1983 she didn't deserve it at alL. Alan on the other hand does. In spades. In the years I've watched films I have rarely seen a character as unlikable and unsymphathetic as his. It doesn't help that his acting is even worse than the rest of the cast (and he hasn't had a acting job since, to no surprise).

As for the rest of the cast - former Soprano cast member Vincent Pastore shows up as Frank who runs the camp and loves his parrot and Isaac Hayes plays The Chef, a joke that would have been a lot better if he'd had more than one scene.

Cast members from the original return, the most entertaining of all being Paul DeAngelon as Ronnie who hilariously is still wearing the muscle vests he did 25 years prior. And is still pretty hench.

Sadly, the film drags something chronic for most of the first hour and the blame for this lays solely at the feet of Alan. At one point the character doesn't appear on screen for half an hour and the movie picks up so quickly you'd think you put something else on.

As it is the sequel to the original it does contain the big twist ending. And it is fairly entertaining, but you will probably guess it ten minutes before the end.

Whatever my opinions on it are - it has done enough business to warrant another sequel due out in October which will focus more on the original cast (and may be in 3D) so I remain hopeful for that one. Time will tell.

*1/2

A massive dissapointment. An attempt to bring back the vibe of the original has good intentions but is run off the tracks by a hideous main character. Quite what happened with that casting will remain a mystery I guess. You want a Sleepaway Camp sequel? Check out the 80's ones.