Ice

Just not had a lot to write about recently. And its been almost 2 weeks since I've done an entertaining blog, one was me moaning the other was the Beadle thing so I suppose its time to even the playing field and just write something!

Not much has happened in the last week and a bit. Working, going out a couple of times that sort of thing. Well something pretty dramatic happened at work but can't talk about that! Sorry about that.

Other than work its been pretty dull. That whole 'Pushing People Away' blog I did seems to have been voided now anyway, but as I said at the time it's a useful thing to remind the next time I'm about to do something stupid. But I don't know whats happening on that particular subject now.

I was halfway through writing about my Saturday night in Norwich which is a subject almost at odds with what I usually write about on here (meaning I write about random stuff more than what I did at the weekend) but I made a reference to disturbing bars during writing it, and that gave me a better idea on what to write about.

So I deleted all that and am now going to talk to you about Ice.

Ice is what is charitably described as a "nightclub" but its not really. For one its way to small unless its going for a record like The Nutshell in Bury (UK's smallest pub). And its set out more like a bar. Which it what it is basically. But they turn up the music louder than in normal bars so you dance.

Before I go any further I just want to point out I have been in there 3 or 4 times so I'm not just ripping into the place without knowledge of what the place is like.

Problem I have got writing about Ice is I just do not know where to start. There are just so many negative aspects with it.

I'll try and give you some idea. The place is open normally Friday and Saturday nights. These nights pretty much the entire Thetford Police force is deployed outside. There is always trouble. Always. Based on this alone they should shut the place down.

And its not even the music I have a problem with. It runs deeper than that. As I said I have been in there 3 or 4 times. The first few times they were playing just usual "club stuff" and it was horrible. But then the last time (and trust me I mean the LAST TIME) me and my mate went in there and its was supposed to be 80s night.

And they played stuff like 80s cheese that I would normally like and probably have on itunes. But I just couldn't enjoy it in there. My mate Jamie came up with the best word. Shittip.

And people go in there without fail every weekend! Do these people leave Thetford at all? Sometimes I wonder. Theres people in the Snooker Hall where I hang out and you can just tell the sad bastards never leave the town, so I can only imagine what its like in there.

I've heard them sometimes- "Oh yeah heading to Ice later. May go to BURY next week" in a tone of voice that would suggest they are going on a weekend in Vegas instead of 20 minutes up the road. And you know they'll never go through with it...can't leave Thetford!

But back to Ice.

I know a few people that go in there so am going to exclude them from this next bit, as they for the most part dislike the place (but still go in there...hmm....)

But the state of the people go in there. I have not seen anything like it. Imagine a concentration camp with loud music and flashing lights. Thats a typical night at Ice.

You've got the women who are just old and dress like they were 20. And they stand there on the little dancefloor area and just grind. Its vomit inducing. Theres no-one with them. Just there on their own. Obviously left the kids at home alone- its Ok they'll never find the heroin needle stash. And they just try and reclaim their youth. Its pathetic.

And then theres the guys that go there to pull. They make sure to stand out from the pack by wearing striped shirts. And they go after the rough single mums mainly or whatevers moving. Its a disturbing sight.

And don't get me started on the kids that go in there drunk from their alcopops...

And don't get me wrong I'm sure this happens in other clubs in the country but this place isn't a nightclub on the scale of where you normally go its really small so the sights are inescapable. Fucking place used to be a snooker club just to give you a idea of the size. Its also sandwiched between a estate agents and a charity shop.

So thats a sort of overview of Ice. A small bar that will stay open until the inevitable day someones killed outside. And its happened in this town before.

Till next time.

Jeremy Beadle

Just a quick one folks.

Just heard the sad news that TV presenter Jeremy Beadle has died.

Growing up I used to love watching the shows 'Beadles About' and 'You've Been Framed' they were great entertainment.

I think we should take this opportunity to give him a big hand.



Till next time.

The Art Of Pushing People Away

Nice positive subject this time, but I'm in the usual position of being pissed off with myself because I acted like a cunt towards my friends again.

It seems like the never ending story for me sometimes. Used to be just alcohol but to use today's as an example was a combo of annoyance at work, worry and tiredness.

It's always the people I'm closest too as well like I have some sort of mental defense about actually having good, trusted friends.

I've seemingly done it so many times I'm surprised I have any friends left. And seeing as they mean the world to me I think you can understand why I'm so fucking pissed off with myself.

So tomorrow I'm doing the bridge mending thing again. And hoping it's OK because this time was one of my...just UBER best friends and I feel like a idiot.

Why am I typing this? So every time I come on here I read the fucking thing. Some sort of "Thom stop being such a dickhead to people you love" therapy.

Till next time.

Say What?

The last few years my Dad has been suffering from some discomfort in his back and hip. In fact he actually worked long past his retirement whilst still suffering from it for quite some time. When he retired he decided it was time to do something about it and after waiting some time he finally managed to get in for an operation needed to sort it out some what.

What the operation entailed basically was his back being cut open and a small spring being placed near the hip. I'm not a doctor so don't know exactly how that works...but it does. Look it up.

So this last Monday he finally went (originally was supposed to be the week before Christmas). Unfortunately because I was working all week I couldn't go and visit so it was down to my Mum to keep me posted on his progress by way of texts and phone calls.

After the operation he started to have trouble with his leg as a result of it. So he had to stay in a few days until his leg was okay enough to leave hospital and walk on it properly. In fact he actually went down on one occasion.

But all was well by Thursday and he was allowed to come home, and earlier today I went to visit. And we were sitting there talking about the operation I mentioned Mum had been keeping me posted about what was going on. And he asked "Oh so you know about the complication then?"

To which I replied in the affirmative. Then he said... "My penis".

I was like "Ha..ha..WHAT?"

Turns out he had some trouble passing water, and my Mum obviously wouldn't tell me the messy details of that! I thought he just meant his leg!

There's a few words you never want your parents to say and "Penis" is one of them, up there with "intercourse" or "moist".

And don't worry my Dad has a great sense of humour so he wouldn't mind me posting this!

In a totally unrelated story I was walking to work the other day and my walk takes me past the towns Post Office. And it was dead on 9am and there was some chav in a trackie drinking from a can of Special Brew! Nothing like enforcing that Thetford stereotype! Just thought I'd share that as it disgusted me!

Till next time.

Heath Ledger

Writing this incredibly shocked at the news. Pretty much heard it as soon as it hit Sky/BBC online.

He wasn't a favourite of mine but his performances in films like Monsters Ball and Brokeback Mountain were superb and showed real promise for the future, not to mention a star making turn upcoming as The Joker in The Dark Knight a film which now promises to be a very different kind of viewing.

Its the inevitable "huge star dies" syndrome I suppose but I am stunned and speechless at this tragedy, just days after the passing of Brad Renfro another great young actor.

My thoughts are with his family right now.

RIP dude.

Too Many Idiots, Not Enough Time...

Not really writing this with anything in mind today. Just gonna start writing and see where it takes me so forgive me if I ramble and drift off onto tangents! Was thinking about writing about idiots I've had to deal with at work and can't remember most of them when forced to think about it!

One springs to mind though mainly because it was this week and everything else requires...you know...thought.

Every month at work all staff are required to sit through an insufferable snooze-fest known as a briefing. This is where we have to listen to what the company's doing. Normally accompanied by a video which without a shadow of a doubt would be the most cringe worthy things you have ever seen.

For example at Christmas the video was a collection of various staff members from different stores singing "Walking In A Winter Wonderland" but the lyrics were changed to "Working In A Sainsbury's Wonderland". I shit you not. It was excruciating. Sample lyric was "Stacking shelves...is really good...working in a Sainsbury's Wonderland". A new guy had to watch it twice (they didn't know he had seen it the first time) and the motherfucker LEFT. The company. For good. Yeah, that bad.

So anyway we had one of these things. Make matters worse I wasn't given any notice that I had to go to it till like 5 minutes beforehand. I normally like getting into a certain head space before having to sit through 30 minutes of supermarket propaganda. But in I went and it went on for ages but we had some entertainment.

There was a guy who does the trolleys in there and he came out with a couple of crackers!

Just to give you background on the first one- every month we have a mystery customer. If you work in retail you'll probably know what one is and if you don't I think you can probably hazard a guess- someone walks around the store buying stuff then marks all the interaction they have with staff, queue times etc. And we get the monthly score averaged out to a year-to-date score which obviously isn't gonna be much different month to month if we stay on course.

So my manager is giving the briefing and asks if anyone knows the score for this year so far. I have no idea myself as long as I get my bonus in July (although I do know this months because it was fucking awful- will tell you why in a bit).

So the trolley guy pipes up...

"Is it somewhere between 85..."

Now bear in mind I was thinking he was next gonna say 86.

"...and 95%?"

Ballpark much? That almost made me crack up, and it was made worse when my manager replied...

"No it was 96.1%"

He gave it that much room and he wasn't even right!

So the briefing went on and the subject of the Jamie Oliver TV show came up. For the uninitiated the show was about how supermarkets treat chickens etc. before they kill them- whether they are treated humanely before they have their heads chopped off...

This show apparently put Sainsbury's in a bad light as they never turned up to answer questions about it (again my interest in the subject is not particularly high) so there was a statement for any staff who gave a shit. So before it was read out we were asked if anyone had seen the show to which trolley guy goes...

"I didn't see it but I saw the TV advertisation"

This just goes to reapply the old adage "If you don't have anything sensible to say, don't say anything at all"...

So on to a slightly different type of idiot but still keeping it at work. We won't know who these monkeys are but it made me laugh.

One of the things the mystery customer has to do is ask a member of staff where something is. And the criteria for getting a 100/100 score is that we have to smile, make eye contact and take them to exactly where the product is.

Last month the mystery customer goes up to someone and it goes a bit like this (with a touch of dramatic license of course...)

CUSTOMER: Excuse me can you tell me where the chicken pies are?
BELLEND 1: (Talking to BELLEND 2) And I said to her "Shaaaup you don't even faaackin know me you caaaant"
CUSTOMER: Excuse me?
BELLEND 1: Wot?
CUSTOMER: Do you work on this department?
BELLEND 1: Yeah, so? You startin'?
CUSTOMER: Would you be able to tell me where the chicken pies are?
BELLEND 1: They're on this roller I'm working on blud (Points at roller) If you come back in about 10 minutes they'll be on the shelf. I'm having a chat at the mo geez so off you pop.
CUSTOMER: But theres like 2 things on top of them. I see them now. Right there!
BELLEND 1: I said I'm havin' a chat you fackin twat. Your fackin' pies will be out in a bit. Chill it. (To BELLEND 2) So yeah I said to her "Shaaaup you don't even cantin' know me you twaaat"
BELLEND 2: Oh no you didn't!

Not good I'm sure you'll agree. We also had someone on checkouts who also caused a bad score...

CUSTOMER: (Walks up to till) Hello.
TILL MONKEY: (Says nothing during entire time, makes no eye contact and looks like someone just shit in their cereal).
CUSTOMER: (After paying) Well bye then.
TILL MONKEY: (Silence until CUSTOMER walks away, then to NEXT CUSTOMER) HELLO! HOW ARE YOU! WELCOME TO SAINSBURYS! NEED HELP PACKING? WANT ME TO PAY FOR YOU? GOT A NECTAR CARD? WANT A HANDJOB WITH THAT?

Again with the dramatic license but you get the idea: blanked mystery customer then starts talking to the next one. And you know in both instances it had to be students. But that's another rant for another day...

And just to conclude theres a girl on the checkouts who looks like Alice Cooper. I shit you not. Come in and look. Her face is like a fucking circus. No lie.

Till next time.

Tom Cruise Is Bonkers

Another short one, more a PSA this time to be honest...Hopefully the link below will stay active for a long time...

http://gawker.com/5002269/the-cruise-indoctrination-video-scientology-tried-to-suppress

And if you don't know scientologists beliefs...watch this (and yes its honestly what they believe...)



Till next time.