At one point in the film the aforementioned Bond girl - can't quite remember her name so in the spirit of all things Bond lets call her Titty McMingeington - helps Bond out of a jam. How does he say thanks? A heartfelt thank you maybe? Nah.
He just says "Good girl". Much like you would a dog that has a shit outside instead of on the new rug. Maybe he could give her a biscuit later.
Later on in the film rubbish-Bond Lazenby is inside a villa on a mountain which is set to explode. Titty McMingeington is dragged out by her father to a rescue helicopter. She wants to go back in to help Bond (and tbh George Lazenby doesn't really do much in the film so maybe he needs the help) but instead of calming her down, reasoning with her...Titty's Dad just punches her out.
I wish I could find a video of this but you will just to have to take my word for it. HOWEVER I have found a nice selection of videos we can watch of similar Bond related misogyny but with real Bonds Connery and Moore...
There's quite a bit to cover for 20 seconds...
1. Dink. That's not her name is it? Bond obviously does not give a shit what her name is so has just assigned this ridiculous moniker of Dink. Probably named other poor women names like 'Bit', 'Thing', 'Shit', 'Bitch' hell even 'Cunt' probably.
2. When Bond tells Dink to say goodbye to Felix and she questions it there's just this subtle anger in his eyes. A subtle, telling anger. Like "For fucks sake" But even then as he turns her around to leave his eyes fixed solidly on her tits. Theres no point looking in their eyes eh James? They just wouldn't get it. Which leads nicely to...
3. Man Talk. "Whatever espionage and crime we need to discuss is WAAAY to advanced for your tiny woman brain. Your brain would explode and your period would arrive simultaneously. Fuck off Dink."
4. The Final Indignity. A firm smack on the arse. Whats the betting that scene is followed by Bond apologizing for Dink's very existence?
This time all the woman says is "You sound like a cop to me...". "Too much time", thought Bond, "This is not getting me the information I need I have deduced this after 6 seconds. Only one thing for it old boy". THWACK.
Roger Moore's go now. Its bad enough trying to become a Doctor in the seventies when you are female (I would imagine), and this is probably compounded by having a name with as many sexual connotations as 'Dr. Goodhead' but does she really need someone going "Oh...you're a woman" whilst trying not to crack up laughing at the same time?
The final video is a nice little 'best of' compilation someone put together...have a watch.
29 seconds in he punches a widow! He was lying about the condolences! Is that what Bond does between films? Goes around the world looking for deaths caused by women not doing what their spouses say? I bet that's what that was. "He said he was allergic to peanuts!"
0.36 is just prolonged and uncomfortable. And made worse by being in a stable.
0.39 Bond is annoyed by being distracted whilst talking to on the phone. Pie face. Sorted.
0.45 is Bond drowning some women....yep.
1.04 "OH MY GOD HE'S GOT A GUN, QUICK USE THE NEAREST WOMAN AS A SHIELD". Its an extreme version of that Family Guy joke when Peter puts a woman over a puddle so someone can walk across it.
1.10 Bond rips of a girls bikini top, chokes her with it and makes a pun too. Why is this man so popular?
And at the end another instance of human shield. She didn't get killed this time and it looks like Bond may have to fight the bloke. Or maybe he will just beat the guy over the head with the woman?
In conclusion whilst finding this old attitude amusing, I am glad we have given it a rest. Well most of the world has. But the James Bond in me hopes you silly, silly, silly women understood the long words I wrote. Think its about time to get back to the kitchen yeah?
Till next time.
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