Buggery

 

Who wants to hear about animal sex? No? Well I would probably close the window down because thats tonights sermon.

This from the BBC News site...

"An arrest warrant has been issued for a Leicester man accused of having sex with a horse and a donkey, after he failed to turn up to court.

Joseph Squires, 66, of Overpark Avenue, is charged with buggery of a donkey between February and April 1999 and buggery with a horse in March 2004.

He is also accused of criminal damage to the animals during the same dates.

He was due to appear at Leicester Crown Court earlier for a plea and case management hearing.

Mr Squires did not attend court and it was heard he had lost touch with his solicitors.

Judge Michael Pert QC issued a bench warrant for his arrest."

I would like to think this is the first time the BBC have ever used the term buggery.

I wonder what this guy is up to? Now obviously, before he was having sex with donkeys and horses. Seemingly progressing through the equines. Kicking off by - and this is going by what the BBC say and they would never lie - having a 2 month romp with a donkey. February and April 1999. Some guys can't last a half hour, this guy was fucking a donkey for 2 months? If it wasn't animal cruelty half of me would want to pat the guy on the back.

Or at the very least direct his attention towards a human maybe. (I actually typo'd just then and typed naybe and was half tempted to keep it in for the horse related pun)

But then in 2004, 5 years on he tried his luck with a bigger mammal. The majestic horse. The animal that still carries Police in certain parts of the country. A beautiful creature. Not beautiful like that though. But alas their time together was fleeting. March. Could have been 30 days, could have been 2. But with your horse you are getting into a whole bigger sort of problem. You've seen those videos on the internet, the guys probably dead by this point.

If he has truly been boned into the afterlife by Black Beauty I hope he can find peace in Heaven. Getting shafted by a unicorn perhaps. Either end.